


It was always you

by Jason_Todd88



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Caught in the Act, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multiple independent ships, Smut, SuperBat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:11:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jason_Todd88/pseuds/Jason_Todd88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce and Clark's friendship at times felt like fifty years, and other times fifty minutes but regardless of which, they were always friends... Until one day they weren't and as always Bruce is trying to run away from what he wants because he feels it isn't what Gotham needs. Many other ships will gradually appear, and at times will have their own chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It was always you

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first try at actually posting something. I haven't written anything in at least three years and definitely nothing like this so take it easy on me and forgive the English because this is all 110% done by me and that is a sure sign of disaster. Expect all chapters at some point to be added to and revised because I'm paranoid and feel that there was always that 'one more thing' I could have added and end up adding it to be safe.

  

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

It had been all over thirteen days since their leader had left on a deep space mission. Exactly three days past the date in which he had vowed to return and tension ran high amongst the remaining team members. Tension only partly laid on his delay, on the risk of something having gone awry or being amiss. The rest of the tension? Most of the tension?  That could be solely attributed to the man that had never left.

The one that stood silently before them,  glaring at the stars before him as if they would succumb to his will and do his bidding. His fingers were gripped tightly in anger against the dashboard as if physically affirming his hatred at their lack of compliance. This hadn't been the first time and they all knew and feared it wouldn’t be the last. They knew his need for control spilled out into the lives of others, so large it couldn’t be contained by his own, and tonight, even the stars were at his mercy.

 

"Batman why don't you-" the soft but firm feminine voice began before it was instantly shut down by a hateful glare.

 

"Are you trying to tell me how I should do nothing now Diana?" came a low, barely audible growl.

 

Diana bit back every angry Amazonian calling telling her this sort of disrespect should never be directed at a woman, much less an Amazon princess but she refrained. Not because he was a man and much less because he had reason in his word choice but because she knew what led to this behavior, even if the caped crusader himself would never admit it to anyone, especially himself.

 

"Hera, give me patience because I have more than enough strength and all of it wants to wring this man's neck" she whispered into her slightly chilled coffee as she took her seat once again.

 

Batman clearly heard her but paid no mind. She was not the focus of his wrath this evening and for now; the stars would have to suffice as a replacement.

 

It wasn't until the fourteenth night, bordering closely upon the fifteenth day that the disheveled looking bright blue clashing with vibrant red walked in through the doors again. He was back.

 

"Thank God" whispered the speedster to no one in particular but his prayers never fell upon deaf ears when the Kryptonian leader was in the room.

 

The Kryptonian felt a pang of guilt as the words reached his overly-sensitive ears from the end of the table. He knew what they went through each time he was delayed because he himself was soon to face the brunt of it. He turned his eyes up towards his fellow heroes apologetically as they directed him with apologetic glances of their own in the direction he needed to go to put them all out of their misery.

With a brief sigh, he floated a few rooms down to their sleeping quarters, just barely reaching the door before a dry, bland command was issued.

 

"Come in, Clark."

 

He gave the ceiling a passing prayer before he let himself in, taking in again the pristine condition of the room. Almost too pristine which meant Bruce was even more upset than usual.  He knew the Bat vented his anger out in the only way he knew how- controlling his environment and the cleaner it was, the more he knew he was in for.

 

"Fourteen days, eighteen hours and thirteen minutes. That means you're four days, 18 hours and thirteen minutes late Clark."

 

The voice was cool and controlled, just like everything else about the man save his eyes which were showing clear as day through the open lenses on the cowl.

 

"I'm sorry I just-"

 

"You just what, Clark? Lost track of time? Forgot? Lost the ability to use your fingers or your voice to keep us informed? Which feeble excuse is it you're sorry for this time?"

 

And there it was. The climax to all those days spent murdering stars in the distance with a single, pointed glare. What the man had been waiting for since exactly four days, eighteen hours and thirteen minutes ago.

 

"I was busy Bruce, I'm sorry. I know I should have called but I had my hands full and even I can't be perfect, despite what everyone seems to think. I tried but I lost track of time" He answered apologetically.

 

The other man narrowed his eyes as if contemplating and formulating the perfect reply which is exactly what Clark knew he was doing. He was going to find those exact words that would tear him down; the exact words that would take him apart and leave a gaping wound where his heart was because he again, let down his the closest thing he had to a real friend, despite his best efforts.

 

"You could have been dead for all I knew." He started, taking a perfectly planned step forward; an intimidation tactic Clark was all too familiar with.

"You could have been dead or injured or who knows what lying who knows where rotting in some distant, unreachable galaxy."

Another intimidating step.

"How many times do I have to tell you that contrary to what you believe, the sun is your power source but you are not the sun and no one and nothing revolves around you?"

 

The voice had now turned into a low, dangerous growl and Clark could feel himself taking a cautious step back for each dominant step Bruce took forward.

He swallowed the dry air stuck in his throat and gave a nervous glance around the room hoping something would rip him out of this before his back hit the door and he had no way out. In theory, this was almost funny. There was nothing Bruce could do without the aid of kryptonite- _which he currently lacked_ \- to hurt him except use his words and that thought alone was more than terrifying enough.

 

"Bruce please..." He pleaded as his back finally pressed against the door with a 'thunk' only he could hear.

 

"I said I was sorry, I wasn't thinking-"

 

"Exactly!" The now angered Bat growled loudly as he slammed his hand down on his desk, littering the surface with the previously organized contents.

 

"You weren't thinking. You're never thinking. You seem to have a deep set _AVERSION_ to thinking and I say it’s about time you. got. over. it." He continued, letting each pointed word sink through the man of steel.

 

"I will not tolerate this type of behavior and lack of commitment to the team any more Clark. You may be the leader but as the strategist of this team, part of my strategy is to have a team; Accounted for and alive. If you want to die that’s your problem but do it on your time, not league time. Not my time"

 

As always, the closing statement was the one that left him wide open and vulnerable to the ice blue glare before him.  Unwavering.

He wished Bruce would understand the things he did weren’t to mess with his plans or to attack him in anyway but those were real lives that really needed saving and Bruce's punctual need to dominate him be damned. There were so many things he wanted to say in his own defense- _should say in his own defense_ \- but it would fall on deaf ears. The only thing that mattered to Bruce, were Bruce's plans.

 

"I'm sorry. It won’t happen again" he mumbled dejectedly as he turned his eyes towards the floor.

 

"Make sure it doesn’t or so help me-" He stopped and sighed, rubbing his hand over the cowl concealing his face. He knew he'd taken it too far as he had a tendency to do but it was Clark's fault.

 

It was always Clark's fault. Clark made him lose control. Clark made him so angry and so- helpless that he couldn't even keep something as pitiful as his temper at bay. Something about those bright blue eyes that were almost an ocean in themselves that lit up when they fell on him, no matter where they were. Something about that smile that lit up even the darkest world. Something about that contagious laugh or that naive sense of moral obligation to complete strangers, something about that infinite kindness and gentleness that made Bruce Wayne, the Prince of Gotham and the Caped Crusader, the very Batman himself lose all the control he prided himself so much in having. Control he'd spent years perfecting to have it blown out of existence with the alien's presence alone.

 

His eyes did a quick sweep of his control wrecking alien and his heart sank as he realized he'd done it again. Clark's posture screamed submission and sadness and it was again, all his fault. What good was all that control if it couldn't even save him from his own misplaced rage? He hated knowing he was the one to again, break down the god before him. The very god that could destroy an entire planet if he so chose, but instead, bowed his head for a miserable human like him.

 

"Get out" He whispered, keeping his hands over his eyes, pressing the heels of his palms pressed hard against them  trying to will the image of Clark looking so weak and broken again out of his mind.

 

With a gentle swoosh, the alien was gone and the automatic door slid shut behind him. Bruce let himself fall back onto the crisply stretched sheets and pulled the cowl off before he pressed his forehead to his knees. He tried to take in a few calming breaths, forcing his mind to meditate but nothing worked. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the broken posture of the alien he'd just dismissed.


	2. Never gonna leave this bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go onto the second chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to take this idea through to the end. In case anyone is wondering, my inspiration for all this will be Maroon 5 songs because as I said on tumblr once, if your OTP doesn't fit into at least 5 Maroon 5 songs, it's probably not an OTP.
> 
> Either way, here goes nothing?

  

\---------------------------------------

 

 

"How bad?" Hal asked as Clark stepped into view.

With a forced smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, Clark forced himself to reply. "The usual. It’s nothing I can't handle"

"What a douche" Added Wally as he linked his ankles over the table top, tossing a chip into his mouth with eased practice.

Clark hated hearing them talk about Bruce that way. Bruce was just trying to do what was best for the team. Knowing where they were was imperative to their safety and Clark knew he'd blown it again by not checking in. It’s not like he meant to, he really didn’t but he just got side tracked and it’s a little hard to keep track of time in a place where time has no time.

 

"Don't say that, Wally" he sighed, knocking the yellow-clad feet off the table. "And manners, please."

 

He could almost hear 'ma telling Wally the A-Z as to why feet on any tables were 110% unacceptable. He could almost hear the air displacement as she paced about, flailing and gesturing wildly as though it would drive her point across more efficiently and he could almost feel her sigh and press a small, forgiving kiss to the side of his head to show she meant only the best.

 

“And why not? We all know he is, even if _some of us_ -“ He jabbed pointedly, fixing his gaze directly at Clark. “Won’t leave Denial-ville”

Somehow the speedster’s words only added onto his guilt and the growing feeling of a hole in his chest.

 

“Because he’s just trying his best to keep us all safe…” He whispered back almost too softly, not bothering if anyone heard him as he made his way to the Zeta tubes. He’d never needed to be home as much as he needed it now because despite being surrounded by his friends, he felt completely alone because the only company he could find himself wanting at times like these was the only company that wanted him as far him as possible.

 

They didn’t understand Bruce though and he couldn’t blame them. Most days he didn’t understand either but that didn’t mean he was about to stop trying. If anything, he just wanted to try harder. He knew the way they worked together on the field seamlessly wasn’t just a fluke. He knew their understanding of each other’s non-verbal cues and body language wasn’t by chance. They had both put a lot of work into their usually unmentioned but understood friendship and he wasn’t going to lose what little they had without a lot of a fight.

 

It had been at least five years since they had met and there were days where it felt like it was just yesterday and other days where it felt like fifty.  The days where Bruce shut him out and pushed him away leaving him frustrated to watch his friend tear himself apart over the things he couldn’t control tended to make him feel like he was at square one, exactly like five years ago.

Then there are days when Bruce is there for him, backs him up either in battle or just silently being present as he battles with his own insecurities, not judging him and listening even without saying anything back and it feels like they’ve known each other no less than fifty. The way Bruce knew exactly how to build him up and break him down never felt short of awe-inspiring to him.

He didn’t want to over-estimate himself too much but days like this where Bruce had chosen to break him down instead of build him up, he wanted to believe, even if just a little, that it was because the other man cared. Not just about the team, the mission, not the obligations or about what Superman meant to the team but about him; about Clark Kent.  He wanted to believe, even if just for the night so his chest wouldn’t swallow him whole in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be posting everything I already have written today and gradually update as I get more. I figured I'd post what I had for people like me that get anxious and frustrated when it drops off right when they wanted to read it most. Thanks for reading!


	3. Maps

  

\-------

 

Bruce didn’t get much sleep that night. Even after he’d returned to Gotham and taken a large portion of his anger out on petty crooks, he still found himself wide-eyed and counting the ridges and valleys between the drops of crystals along the ornate chandelier hanging above him. It was barely illuminated by the occasional external lighting that dashed in in through the long, silk curtains when the wind gently blew them aside in just the right way.

He noticed the little chip in the lowest hanging crystal and the smudge of a finger print on the larger one on the right. He took note of the signs of rust that were just starting to form along the fifth link of the chain that held the fixture to the ceiling. He took note of petty, unnecessarily trivial things, anything to keep his mind from wandering back to that moment in his quarters back in the tower. It hadn’t been the first time he’d lost his control around Clark but even he couldn’t keep pretending to be oblivious to see the effect these outbursts were taking on the Man of Steel. The first few times he’d verbally attacked him, the alien was livid.

Who was he to raise his voice at a god? Clark angrily rebuked all of Bruce’s harsh words, returning them with testy words of his own, keeping them polite and controlled in a way only he could. Then, somewhere between the fifteenth and the twentieth time, Bruce recalled, the constant verbal abuse began to break him. The replies started coming out softer, those brilliant blue eyes wouldn’t meet his anymore and finally the god was reduced to an apologetic child that had gotten caught eating an extra helping of dessert.

He could recall in vivid detail, something his endemic memory permitted him, much to his chagrin, each time Clark recoiled physically at his words, stumbled back clumsily to put more space between them almost like the reporter persona he put on instead of the graceful fearless fighter he really was. Bruce could name in alphabetical order each muscle that tensed in the alien as he shrank in his chair when Batman walked through the doors after he’d done anything he thought would have earned him a verbal lashing. The same way he could name the muscles that eased as he saw relief wash away the tension when the black cape swooped past the shrunken man, completely ignoring his presence.

Sometimes he wondered if Clark was even aware of how open his reactions to everything he did were. If Bruce moved, he moved. If Bruce stood, he shrank. He wondered if Clark knew, more importantly so, how much he affected Bruce himself. He had caught himself reacting in much a similar manner to Clark as Clark reacted to him. If Clark would take a sip of his coffee at the table, so would he. If Clark leaned in to rest his elbows on the table, lost in thought or deeply focused on the speaker, Bruce himself would lean in closer. It wasn’t lost on him since half of his thoughts were self-reflecting but what was lost on him was why. Why he subconsciously reacted to the other man’s every movement, regardless of how subtle or unsubtle it was. It was just a little past three-forty according to the digital led lighting when Bruce finally traded fault finding in his furniture for suiting up instead. He had one more mission this evening and he decided this one couldn’t wait.


	4. Fortune teller

 

 

\--------------

 

Clark tossed helplessly against his less than quality cotton sheets before freezing completely.  Even in his state of half-sleep between fruitless dreams, the sound of an extra heart beat in his room wasn’t missed. He listened intently for another moment before sighing in relief as he assigned the familiar heartbeat to an owner.

“…Bruce?” he sluggishly croaked out, voice heavy with exhaustion and sleep, turning his head weakly on the pillow to face the direction of the heartbeat, letting his head drop unceremoniously back onto the sweat-dampened pillow.

 

Even if he hadn’t turned to look at the shadow pressed back against his curtains, he’d have known that heart beat anywhere. He’d always caught himself listening in on it no matter where he was. He’d listen as it sped up during particularly bad nightmares and nearly stopped when his sleep was peaceful. It was comforting to hear and more often than not, it was his lullaby. What he would focus on to shut the world out so he could let himself sleep through the unwelcomed noises of the Earth.

Despite how strong he knew the Bat was and how fierce and unrelenting he pushed himself to be, the scars he’d occasionally catch a glimpse of when he hauled him up to the med bay with a fresh would in need of urgent repair would remind him of the truth; just how human and fragile he really was. How easy it would be for that heart beat to just… stop.

Bruce left the spot in which he had been hiding and gracefully made his way to the bed where Clark lay and quite ceremoniously ran his hand along a crease in the sheets before sitting, ever silent.  The alien begrudgingly sat up, rubbing the still lingering sleep from his eyes and took his spot next to the caped man, cautiously looking over before starting.

 

“Bruce, I’ve already said I was sorry you don’t need to-“

He stopped mid-sentence once he noticed the lens-covered eyes weren’t directed at his face but at the top of his head. He frowned before it sank in that he must look nothing short of a mess. A blush made its way through his cheeks as he awkwardly and unsuccessfully ran his fingers through it, attempting to tame the gravity defying locks. Bruce’s lips threatened to turn up into a hint of a smile but he bit back, thoroughly enjoying how _human_ he looked. Not a hair in place, face swollen with sleep, movements relatively sluggish and sleep still lingering in his voice. The only sign of his non humanity were the lacking pillow and blanket creases along his skin and the way that even in the dark his golden skin seemed to glow.

At some point during his unending battle with his mane, Bruce slid his hands out from under the cape, letting it fall back over his forearms to show a small, triangular plastic box that crinkled loudly between gloved fingers in the dead silence between them.

“Apple.”

Clark’s senses took in the scent he’d missed in his distraction and he nodded in confirmation. “Apple.”

Bruce sat apprehensively with the flimsy plastic crinkling further as his fingers nervously clutched on, realizing now how this may have been a bad idea but everything regarding Clark as far as he was concerned seemed to leave him stranded with nothing but control-free bad ideas.

“You remembered” Clark offered, holding his hand out for the little plastic container as he spared his clock a fleeting glance.  “and were nice enough to bring it to me at…. Four in the morning”

Bruce nodded and released his grip on the container as he slid it into Clark’s hand.

“Endemic memory and all” he offered plaintively.

But even if he didn’t have any remarkable memory traits so to speak of, he’d still remembered Clark liked pies, specifically apple. He vividly remembers the first time he had seen Clark eat one and it was something that would have made a significant impact on anyone.

It had been just under a year since they had met, four months since he’d joined the Justice League that Clark sat in their make-shift kitchen with his large, round container, neatly wrapped in a plain checkered handkerchief. A wrap way too neat to be of his own doing so it meant someone had made it for him. The Kryptonian gingerly plucked at the edges of the knot, unfurling it as his eyes lit like a small child opening their first present on Christmas morning before they slid shut and he inhaled deeply like he needed the scent to live. All too soon, the deep blue eyes peeked out from under their lids and sat fixatedly on the now revealed pie before him.

 

Never in his life had he seen someone who wholeheartedly smitten by food. He’d seen people ravenous for it, excited for it but this? It was an experience all too _alien_ for The Batman. Clark nervously bit his lower lip as he lifted his fork, almost shivering as it sank through the crust, shooting a cinnamon-apple scent through what was probably the entire space center.  He gently, almost too gently for someone with his strength lifted a chunk up from the edge, eyes narrowing in on the gushing glazed apple that threatened to fall from the corner and slid it past his lips. If him getting to the pie was alien, watching him eat the pie itself had no known word to fit its description.

His chest swelled and his shoulders relaxed, eyes falling shut as long lashes dusted along his cheekbones, head tipping back slightly and he made this… whimper. That’s the only way Bruce could think to describe it. He chewed slowly, with purpose and Bruce could see his jaw work as he rolled his tongue up to the roof of his mouth as if to make sure each and every taste bud was coated with the flavor he very clearly enjoyed. This step continued through each bite, and by the end, the alien looked almost as though he were enjoying the afterglow after having been thoroughly satisfied by a lover. It made Bruce almost ashamed to have witnessed what felt like such an intimate moment with something so trivial as eating a pie.

What did have him ashamed when it came to his attention was the fact that he had stood there and _watched_ the entire process start to finish.  He had stood there dumbly with forgotten coffee mug in hand blatantly staring at the man eating a pie as though he were some scene on display.  When Clark’s eyes met his questioningly, he pointedly flipped his cape around himself and exited as though what he’d done were as normal as breathing. They never spoke of it again but it had impacted Bruce deeply seeing someone get that sort of enjoyment out of a simple pie.

 

“fo-“ He was again cut off as Bruce once again slid his hand out from under the cape, providing him with a white plastic fork. “rk. Yeah. Thanks” He completed offering the cowl a small grin as he sheepishly opened the container, hating how loudly it yelled in protest to his effort.

“Maybe next time there can be an uh- less noisy kind of box?” Clark offered seeing Bruce’s jaw flex in irritation, teeth grinding loudly.

“It was short notice. You’d be surprised how difficult it is to find apple pie at half-past three in the morning on a Tuesday in Gotham.” He offered in return, relaxing his jaw.

Clark chuckled at his attempt at humor and grinned once again as he broke off a piece of the pie, sighing contentedly as he brought it up to his lips. Bruce pulled his cowl back and off and once again found himself intently watching Clark eat his pie. Just as before, his eyes fluttered shut and he made unintelligible noises between bites, almost as if daring Bruce to watch him and he did. He felt another smile tug at the corner of his lips in satisfaction that he’d gotten this right after all. It was long past four in the morning, he was sitting next to his-  _teammate? Friend? What should he call Clark? It never occurred to him before but he’d surely take his time to consider that soon._  - In his costume as he ate pie in nothing but plaid boxers and a single sock.

 

All of this was extremely out of his comfort zone and again, he reminded himself, a bad idea but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He’d done it. He’d done something right by Clark and Clark was smiling. Smiling for him. He let himself glance over at Clark again and felt his gaze turn analytical. Clark’s body was so different from his own.

He had a healthy, almost unearthly glow as though he were almost the sun itself. His skin was unmarked and untainted, smoothly pulled over lean, effortless muscle that was perfectly proportionate in every way. Unconsciously, his eyes slid lower, the mental comparison being his top priority at the moment as he found taught, defined crinkles along the alien’s stomach which showed where each abdominal muscle looked like God himself had taken his time placing them one by one to make sure they were as flawless as the rest of him, only short of being perfectly smooth under that sun kissed skin due to a light trail of hair that led down into the crinkled fabric around the elastic band of his boxers and-

“B-Bruce?”  Clark tried, his voice a few octaves higher than normal.

Bruce’s eyes flew up to meet the oceans he’d long been familiar with and cleared his throat.  He hadn’t taken time in his mental analysis to realize just how _awkward_ said mental analysis would be to the subject being analyzed.  He offered no explanation but stood instead, placing his fingers along the edge of the cowl to pull it back up.

“Don’t” Clark pleaded weakly. 

He hated having the cowl between them reminding him again of how untouchable and close to unhuman Bruce was. The cowl meant whatever this had been was officially over and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

“Just a little longer?”

Bruce’s jaw flexed and he gracelessly dropped his arms back at his side, seeing the terrified, pained look in those eyes he was so familiar with.  This was exactly the reason he was here in the first place. That look and hating that he was the one to cause it. That’s not what he wanted. Not tonight and honestly not ever. He knew he could never bring himself to apologize out right to the man the way he knew he should and felt he wanted to but this was something right? Clark understood. “ _Please let him understand_ ” he thought pitifully to himself.

He saw those eyes light back up and the almost pout forming against his lips turned back into a smile and a weight he hadn’t notice had been squeezing his heart was suddenly gone.

“I’m here” he whispered, almost too low but he knew he’d been heard.

“Yes you are” Clark confirmed, relaxing as his grin threatened to rip back to his ears as another mental note was taken on Bruce’s part- Clark had really, really white, perfect teeth and that made for one hell of a heart stopping smile.

Clark twitched a bit as he heard the brief, almost unnoticeable alteration in his favorite heartbeat. It would have been unnoticeable if the one noticing had been anyone but Clark.

“Do you want to drink something?” he offered, nervously standing and letting the plastic container fall against the floor as he realized he hadn’t had a drop of manners since Bruce had shown up.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair and bent to pick up the container, dropping the fork in the process as he continued to ramble.

“I don’t have a whole lot, I haven’t been grocery shopping in a while and – _when was the last time I even went grocery shopping_ \- and I think I’ve got water and one of Wally’s beers and- do you drink beer? Oh Rao it’s almost five in the morning and I’m offering Batman beer uh- Sorry there’s-“

At some point in the confusion Bruce had appeared in front of him and crouched so they were facing each other and pinched the alien’s lips with enough force to hurt a normal human but barely enough to actually successfully stop the man before him from continuing to babble on.    

“Water will be fine. Thank you” Bruce replied, cautiously and slowly lowering his hand as they continued looking at each other in an awkward silence until Bruce snorted and Clark grinned drawing an unexpected laugh from Batman. They both fell clumsily back onto their asses and began to laugh at how awkward this whole thing had been from beginning to end. They laughed the tension away and soon Bruce felt his stomach beginning to hurt and tears welled up in the corner of his eyes but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop laughing.

Clark’s laughter echoed his and it seemed one laugh pulled the other until they were just wheezing and laughing at the other’s laughter.

“Oh Rao, stop Bruce, it hurts!” he gasped out between bouts of laughter.

 _“No chance”_ Bruce mentally replied, laughing harder than he could ever remember. This was the only pain he’d ever hope to cause his friend. That’s exactly what they were and he wasn’t going to run from that anymore.  Clark had proven time and time again that’s exactly what he was to Bruce; a friend. The best friend he could have asked for. One who was patient with him and was there regardless of it he was wanted or not because he knew he was needed. The friend that made him run through each gas station and late night café in Gotham as Batman, frightening at least five of the seven cashiers on a quest for pie, not just any pie, _apple_  pie. Apple pie because he knew that’s what Clark liked. That’s something you do for a friend. You remember the things they like and do anything in your power to get that thing and he’d done it for no other reason than because he wanted to make this man happy. The best of friends he could ask for, his best friend.

Soon both men were lying sprawled out on the floor, gasping for air as a few residual chuckles faded back into silence.  Clark couldn’t help but feel gut-wrenchingly _happy._  Bruce was here and he was doing this for Clark and he’d heard him laughing for the first time and it was the best sound he’d ever heard. It was a rich, deep laugh that choked off when he was pressed for air with a small ‘squeak’ until his lungs refilled with air and they started back up.  With a placated, stupid grin on his face,  Clark turned his head slightly, just enough to see the sun rise from where he lay on the floor as it snuck through the curtain.

“Good morning.” Clark offered, smile still in full swing and almost audible through his voice.

“Good morning” Bruce returned, sporting a grin of his own. “Though normally when I say that on someone’s bedroom floor at five in the morning I’ve usually had a much better night and there’s a lot less clothing going on. You’re pretty close though” Bruce goaded, rolling onto his side as he lifted himself onto one of his forearms to look at Clark with a trying smirk.

Clark’s face was blank as he processed what he’d just heard and Bruce could almost hear the gears click into place as realization dawned and a full blown blush swept across his face. Bruce absolutely loved how open and easy to read Clark’s emotions were on his face. You could easily follow his entire thought process if you just looked at his face.

“B-Bruce!” Clark nearly squeaked out.  “O-oh my god did- did Batman just _joke_ with me?” he gaped, eyes wide and jaw slackened as he lifted himself to copy the other man’s pose.

There went the movement synchronicity Bruce had thought of earlier. They just naturally mirrored each other and Bruce no longer found it confusing but instead endearing. Endearing because that was his best friend and they were so attuned to each other that they naturally complimented the other. This is what having a best friend was like and he was blind sighted from enjoying this before because for one, Batman does not enjoy, he simply is and secondly, he’d never had a best friend to compare this situation to. Sure he had Alfred and the boys but they were more than just friends, they were family. This was friendship. A real one.  


	5. Sugar

 

 

 

\--------------------

 

Bruce had been at the breakfast table a while, taking advantage of the fact that he was still up to have breakfast before heading off to sleep until hopefully, well past noon. He read his paper and mindlessly left his fork against his lips after he’d removed the fruit from it as his eyes skimmed the paper. He turned his head up at the sound of Dick making his way into the kitchen pulled him from an utterly uninteresting article about a sale to kick off the opening of a new grocery store.

“Morning” came the gruff reply as Dick sank into his chair, his forehead instantly against the cool surface of the glass table.

Bruce remained quiet as he took in Dick’s appearance and turned the corner of his lip up into a smirk, chuckling.

“What?” Dick replied, somewhat annoyed as to have missed the joke.

He peeled himself from the table to look over at the older man still half smirking at him from where he sat.

“Whaat?” He whined this time, noticing he was the brunt of whatever internal joke Bruce was enjoying.

Bruce slowly lowered his eyes down Dick’s police uniform and his smirk turned into a full plastered grin.

Dick groaned and attempted to follow his eyes down his own uniform and echoed the previous groan with a louder one. His pants were on backwards, his belt was not his officer’s belt but his old robin utility belt and his shoes didn’t match. Oddly enough, his socks did which he counted as a small personal victory. With a sigh, Dick stood and took the belt off, laying it on the table and toed his shoes off as he slid his pants off to put them on correctly before sitting again, grumbling.

Bruce now turned into a full bout of laughter, partly hiding behind his paper to avoid the ‘fuck you’ glare he knew he was getting from Dick. He peeked out from behind his paper to find it was still there and Dick was still oblivious.

“Oh my goodness B, now what?!” he huffed, re-checking his socks just to be safe.

Bruce fixed his eyes on the crisp white shirt and rested his cheek in the palm of his hand as he rested his elbow on the table.

Dick scrunched his eyebrows and looked down to find each and every button was in a completely different hole than it was supposed to be. He sighed and swiftly opened them all before re-buttoning them again, looking himself over thoroughly before deciding that short of his belt and shoes, there was nothing else Bruce could possibly find wrong and tripled checked his socks, starting to laugh at himself as he did so.

“Rough night?” Bruce asked, amusement still evident in his voice and posture.

“Something like that” Dick returned with a grin, enjoying seeing Bruce so relaxed. “I assume Clark came back?”

Bruce’s expression dropped to one of confusion.

“Why, did he contact you?”

“No, you’re happy again” Dick offered simply, grinning as Alfred brought him coffee and cereal. “Thanks Al, you’re a life saver”

Alfred smiled and gave him a curt nod before returning to prepare the breakfast for the rest of the boys.

“What do you mean I’m happy again?” Bruce pressed.

Dick rolled his eyes.

“The last time I came down and had my uniform on sans-pants, you gave me _the_ growl and told me to dress myself without even looking at me.  It so happens that Clark was gone during that time. Today you’re sitting and laughing and joking about it and you’ve actually eaten your breakfast today which I haven’t seen you do in almost two weeks or more. You have an empty plate instead of squished fruit pulp and juice left behind uneaten. The eating stops exactly when he’s gone and so does any sense of humor you may hope to have and they return when he does. “

Bruce grunted in response, unwilling to either confirm or deny the accusation.  “Good job on the socks”

Dick knew that was the closing statement as the topic had officially been taken off the table. He gave Alfred a quick shrug and could have sworn he got a smile back. Bruce turned his eyes back to the paper but _somehow_ this fascinating story about fifty cents off toilet paper was less than able to keep his attention from what Dick had just said. He was angry. Angry at himself for not noticing something that was so apparent to Dick and possibly everyone else.  How had he missed this? Was he really that obvious? Was he that bad?

Later that evening, he found himself chastising himself again as he somehow wound up on Clark’s doorstep, hand slightly lifted to knock but not quite making it. It had been less than twenty-four hours since he’d last been here but here he was again, as Bruce Wayne and not at four in the morning with an unspoken pie-apology.

Clark had been home for about an hour and was curled up on the couch to watch whatever re-run movie was on for the night when the sound of the usual heartbeat was closer than usual; a lot closer. He cautiously looked around, using his x-ray vision to check and frowned. Was he wearing lead? Just when he was about to go into a physical search he gave his x-ray one last try at the only place he hadn’t looked- the door. There he was, looking angry and confused, caught up in his own mental war against himself with… beer?

Clark stood and padded his way over to the door, opening it and looking dumbly at Bruce dressing _casually -_  As casual as Bruce Wayne possibly could anyway. He was wearing a pair of fitted, dark wash jeans that looked like they’d been painted on because pants just weren’t supposed to fit that well but that’s money for you, and a snug fit v-neck shirt in a thin cotton material that seemed to match the jeans seamlessly.

“Bruce?”

“Clark.”

“Should I even ask what’s going on? You have… beer. Since when do you even drink beer?” Clark asked, clearly puzzled.

“I don’t, not willingly” he supplied with a grimace.

“And neither do I, with my body not being affected by alcohol, the point is somewhat moot on me and I don’t think highly of the flavor either”.

They both looked at the beer and snorted.

“It’s the thought that counts or something” Bruce offered with a shrug. “Seems to be standard for visiting a friend within normal waking hours”

Bruce had just called him a friend. Clark felt so giddy at something so stupid but he was excited. It was what he’d always wanted. Growing up he didn’t get to have many friends considering they’d either be freaked out when he woke up floating, betrayed him or just plain couldn’t handle the pressure of keeping a secret so large so they left. Being the social person he was; that was rough for him. He hated feeling lonely and weird. He hated being different but then there Bruce was, human as ever, aware of his secret with a case of beer in hand standing at his door wanting to see him and calling him a friend. Clark couldn’t help the goofy grin that came over his face and in return Bruce couldn’t help the little flutter in his chest at said grin.

“It’s the thought that counts” Clark confirmed, moving aside to let him in.

“Actually, hold this just a minute”

Bruce handed him the beer and vanished back down the stairwell given the broken elevator, returning a few minutes later with way too many bags of grocery for a single man with a grunt as he reached the last step.  The plastic straps of the bags dug into his wrists and arms turning them an unnatural shade of red, with white outlines. He quickly rushed to take the bags, utterly confused which seemed to be a constant occurrence since the previous night-morning.

“What’s all this Bruce?” Clark asked, taking the bags inside and looking over the wave of food that covered his countertop.

“Groceries, clearly” Bruce replied, closing the door behind himself.

Clark stared blankly at all the food. He dimly recalled at some point in his babbled embarrassment at Bruce that he’d mentioned he hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while. He couldn’t believe the man had actually gone out and done it himself. He could only imagine the riots around the market as Bruce Wayne _shopped._ He peered inside one of the bags and arched an eyebrow.

“Bruce, why on God’s green earth did you buy 5 forms of carrots?”

“I wasn’t sure which you preferred.” came a defensive mumble.

Then it occurred to him he’d asked the wrong question. He corrected himself.

“Bruce, have you ever even _gone_ grocery shopping?” Clark asked as he felt his heart warm over at the idea that Bruce literally leapt out of his comfort zone to fill his fridge.

“No.”

“Of course not” Clark grinned as he used his speed to put the groceries away, coming over to meet Bruce with a beer can in each hand. “To trying new things?”

Bruce took one and nodded, visibly relaxing. “To trying new things”

Clark blew on both cans until a reasonable amount of frost built up around the outside of the can and they were at a tolerable temperature. Beer tasted awful enough at any temperature but it seems heat made it not only worse but it felt as though the flavor stuck to your tongue and never quite went away. With a slight shrug, both men sat down on the considerably small couch and popped the tabs on their respective cans open before taking a sip. Their faces mirrored in repulsion and they couldn’t help but again, laugh.

“I see the bonding quality of it now” Bruce commented thoughtfully. “You either bond over how much you love it or bond over how much you hate it”

Clark hummed in agreement and took another sip, finding it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever taste it and figured he could bear it for Bruce’s sake. He’d gone through all this effort so, why not?

“Pizza?” Clark offered.

Bruce scrunched his nose. The beer was all the unnecessary carb he had prepared himself for and even then it was much against his better judgement. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had something as health murdering as pizza and honestly he wasn’t sure what the appeal was.

 

“If you want it, don’t concern yourself with me” Bruce replied, sipping a bit more at the beer before turning to look at the tv a bit, arching an amused eyebrow. “Rent, Clark? Really?”

“Hey! It’s a good movie!” He replied with a pout. He hadn’t been watching it yet but he really did like that movie.  He had long discovered he had a thing for musical numbers and cartoons but he wasn’t about to let Bruce in on that yet. He had some dignity to preserve.

“You have questionable taste” Bruce replied with an amused smirk. “Order your pizza Clark.”

“Yes sir, anything else, _sir_?”

Bruce rolled his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line.  “Yes, ask them to add extra grease. If I’m screwing this up, I’m going about it the right way”

Clark’s face lit up as he fumbled excitedly with his phone before he managed to dial the desired number. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He had no idea what changed to make Bruce suddenly be around him but he couldn’t be more grateful if he’d tried. 


	6. Misery

 

\------------------

Three years had quickly come and gone and their friendship remained solid. Clark constantly dropped by the cave, sometimes worked to help Bruce figure out a case and in return, Bruce would occasionally drop by for pizza and beer, both men finding they’d somehow acquired a taste for it over the years and it just went so well with that pizza Clark always made them get. It was an easy habit to fall into and most, if not all of their fights seemed to have ended, only showing up on occasions when one or the other had been hurt or just had a difference of opinion but never again did Bruce see Clark as he had that day.

The difference in both men’s behaviors had been noticeable and welcomed all around. Their team work with the other members of the league flowed effortlessly and some part of Bruce felt that they were more willing to trust him now. They openly relied on him and Clark was his constant supporter at the table, even if after, he bickered endlessly with Bruce over tactics and execution.  The most notable difference however, came within their families. Clark was back to a constantly sunny disposition and he felt closer to Kon than ever. The conversation flowed smoothly and they enjoyed each other’s company whenever possible. The same applied within the manor. Bruce, while never fully pleasant or open was visibly less bitter and found it easier to joke with his boys. The only problem still being Jason who never quite forgave him and Bruce still worried he never might, despite his best efforts.

 

It was this new found openness, however remote with them, that led him to notice Dick’s increasingly odd behaviors. Taking longer to return from patrol, wordlessly vanishing during weekends, being more than tired each morning, to the point where Bruce was concerned for his health but all exams and blood work came up negative for anything that might have been the source of his odd behavior. Originally Bruce feared and suspected drugs but that possibility was soon ruled out and he was back at ground zero. It didn’t add up until one night when Dick was again _very_ late after patrol that Bruce decided to go looking for him to see what was slowing him down.

 

He suited up and turned on Dick’s tracker, frowning in deep concern when it showed his location as an abandoned building in the darkest part of Gotham. No person with any self-preservation would be caught alive even skimming past that neighborhood and again the drug possibility struck Bruce. But if Dick was taking any form of drug, why hadn’t the tests caught it? He was out on the road in no time and left the car as far as he could from the scene as he soundlessly made his way down crumbling rooftops. He came to a stop when it showed he was in the right place and he crept down the fire escape to the appropriate floor before he froze. Peeking in through one of the broken windows, he could make out two figures near what seemed to be the remnants of a couch.

He could easily make out Dick’s naked form sitting on the back of the couch, feet on the cushions with his back turned to the window Bruce stood at full attention as he saw there was someone else with him, someone who’s face he couldn’t quite see.  The unidentified man placed his hands on Dick’s waist and slid them down to roughly grab as his ass, earning him a gasp and a whimper followed by Dick’s legs falling further apart. He leaned slightly forward and his head was soon lost between Dick’s thighs and Bruce felt his stomach turn. This is why Dick was so tired? He was having _relations_ with unknown men in this part of town? A good part of him wanted to barge right in and demand an explanation and drag him home and never let him leave again.

He considered doing just that until he heard it.

“F-Fuck Jay, stop teasing and suck me already!”

Jay? Jason Jay? Bruce’s eyes went wide with realization. What he had first thought was bad suddenly turned so much worse.

 

Jason lifted his head from Dick’s lap and made his way up with noisy, wet kisses, arm moving frantically as his hand replaced his mouth until he found his goal on Dick’s neck, earning him another needy moan. Bruce stared openly at his former robin, White strip of hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, lips swollen and spit-slicked as he hungrily sucked a mark into Dick’s neck. It was really him. It was Jason. Jason lifted and narrowed his eyes in Bruce’s direction, sensing that he was being watched until recognition fell over his face and he pulled back from Dick’s neck earning him a dissatisfied whine. Jason smirked at Bruce, giving him a quick wink before sinking his head back between Dick’s thighs. Bruce had seen enough. More than enough. He turned as silently as he’d arrived and left, not sure where his thoughts should even be regarding what he’d just seen.

He numbly stumbled through the cave and grunted as he walked into a warm, almost soft wall.

“Bruce…?” Came the weak, concerned voice.

He must have been even more out of it than he imagined if he just walked straight into Clark without noticing his presence.

“Bruce, talk to me, what’s wrong?” Clark pleaded, reflexively wrapping his arms around Bruce as if to hold him close to himself and away from the floor.

Bruce looked up at his best friend, thankful for the grounding and comforting effect his the other man had on him but still not sure if he should tell him and even worse, not knowing how to even tell himself, even though he had just seen it.

“Dick…” he mumbled dumbly.

“Is he ok?” Clark pressed, the concern on his face deepening.

“…With Jason” He concluded.

Clark frowned. “Bruce, you’re not making sense. Did Jason hurt Dick? Where are they?”

He could only wish it were as simple as Jason trying to hurt Dick. That he could handle. That he was prepared for. This however, was not on the list on things Bruce was ready to or willing to handle.

“Fucking.” Bruce tried again, still completely in what could only be explained as shock.

“No need for that sort of language. I’m not dumb but you’re speaking in two word sentences and that’s not helping”

Bruce glared up at him and narrowed his eyes. His best friend could be really dumb when he was trying to be smart.

“Put it together Clark, I’m not repeating it” He snapped back, feeling a bit more himself.

There was a bit of anger to be found now and he clung on to it. That was a familiar feeling. He could work with anger and he grasped at it as he pulled himself out of the Alien’s embrace and stormed off deeper into the cave.  Clark watched him storm away as he let what Bruce meant sink in. He’d said all of four words _.” Dick, with Jason. Fucki- Oh! Oh Rao this is bad. Dick and Jason were fucking.”_  He thought to himself before breezing off with his super speed to catch Bruce.

“Bruce! Bruce wait! Talk to me about this, we’ll think of how to handle it just- don’t run from this Bruce, that’s not going to help” He yelled at the back of the black cape as he caught Bruce just before he locked himself into the shower room.

“What ‘we’ Clark! There is no we. There is me and my family and I’m going to figure this out.” Bruce snapped.

“Yes because you’ve done a fine job so far and in case you missed it, there is a we. You’re my best friend and if it’s affecting you this much, it’s affecting me. Let me help, come on!” Clark pleaded in return.

“What are you going to do? Give them a sex talk and drown them in rainbows and sunshine talking about how all this is good and great and just so ok?”  Bruce huffed out in frustration as he came back from the shower room and sat in his chair. “There is no fixing this Clark.”

“Is the rainbows and sunshine part an option? Because I’m willing to try” Clark shot back with a toothy grin.

“Be serious for one goddamned minute of your life Clark.”

Clark ignored him and just kept grinning.  “Here’s an idea but you might want to brace yourself for this one. It’s a little on the scary side. Ready? The solution is-“

Clark stopped and leaned in as close as he could without forcing Bruce to break out the Kryptonite. “Talk to them.  It’s why this happened in the first place. You need to learn to use your words. You can’t just beat up any situation you don’t like and clearly blocking them has worked so well for you.”

Bruce narrowed his eyes up at Clark and stood, storming off to the manor instead. Clark flopped into the chair Bruce had been sitting in and grinned. He’d won this one. He deserved to gloat a little and bask in the miracle of victory.


	7. Lost Stars

 

\-------------

Bruce knew Clark was right but that lead to the next big hurdle: which boy to talk to first. He thought about it for a moment and realized Dick was out of the question. If there was one habit Dick had picked up from him, it was the habit of shutting people out when they had something to say he didn’t want to hear. That left option two. With a long, agonizing sigh, he changed into his casual clothes. He didn’t want to do this as Batman. He wanted Jason to know he was asking for this as Bruce.

Once he was satisfied that he had a plan in mind, he made his way out to one of his cars and got in, running over everything he wanted to say carefully, already preparing for all the sass and anger he knew he’d get from Jason. It wasn’t long before he was near the broken building and realized any and every plan he’d made since he’d decided this was the right thing to do would be utterly useless the moment he stepped into Jason’s line of view. He was going to be forced to do something he loathed; wing it.

After a quick climb, Bruce let himself in through the window and stood, facing the back of Jason’s head, surrounded by a varying blue-white halo of light as his former Robin mindlessly watched the news on the tv before him. As soon as Jason became aware of his presence, he jumped up defensively until he caught sight of Bruce’s clothes and somewhat let his guard down. Whatever this was, it was personal. As he saw Jason relax, Bruce knew more than ever this was the right thing to do, what he probably should have done before he’d even ever seen them together but it was only now that it occurred to him and he mentally cursed himself.

“Well look what the peepshow dragged in” Jason sneered as his arms crossed over his chest. “Catching me sucking your golden boy dry really riled you up, huh?”

Bruce’s jaw clenched and he took a deep breath through his nose. He wouldn’t let Jason’s words affect him this way. Not tonight. He had a goal.

“How long?” Bruce asked, tone even and neutral.

“Long enough. Think on it B” Jason replied with a cocky smirk.

Bruce’s jaw clenched again and he closed his eyes, trying to do just that. When did this start? He tried to think as far back as he could until, looking over facts and details of Dick’s behavior his eyes shot open when he recalled Dick’s unusual behavior in the kitchen almost three years ago.

_\----_

**_“Rough night?” Bruce asked, amusement still evident in his voice and posture._ **

**_“Something like that” Dick returned with a grin._ **

_\----_

His sudden difficulty getting dressed in the mornings and looking so worn out. The distracted behaviors and being locked up in his room- or so Bruce had thought. Suddenly taking to calling him ‘B’ instead of the usual Bruce. That long? Why didn’t Dick tell him? Why hadn’t he noticed? ” _Because you’re just so easy to talk to and you always consider people’s feelings.”_  He mentally replied to himself.

 

“I see.” He replied blankly, trying to remain neutral. “Are you serious about him?”

Jason smirked. “What, worried that I’m just using your golden boy for a quick fuck?”

Bruce couldn’t help but growl. “Don’t talk about him like that. I’m just trying to do what’s best Jason and I’m not here just for him. Believe it or not, I’m here for both of you.”

“Should I pretend to be flattered? And don’t worry, none of our fucks were or are quick, I take my time between his legs, take my sweet time making Dickie come apart.” Jason added with a bit of venom.

“Jason! Stop!” Bruce growled a little louder. “I mean it. Clearly Dick cares about you or it wouldn’t have gone on this long. He deserves better than this.”

“Better than me, you mean? Yeah Bruce, I know. Try telling him that.”

Bruce could tell there was a sore spot there.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I’ve been trying since the day I saw you come back to get you to come home. I know you’ve gotten the things I’ve sent you for your birthdays and the invitations to come home for the holidays. Don’t act as though I haven’t cared about you when I can only do so much while you push me away. I still want you to come home and now more than ever because neither of you deserve this half assed relationship.”

Jason stared blankly at him before narrowing his eyes directly looking into Bruce’s. “Real easy for you to say that, isn’t it? I’ll come home and it’ll be like the good old times right? All your sons at home, doing your bidding and being such good boys all the time. Except no Bruce. I’m not going to stop killing. I’ll keep screwing Dick senseless and I’ll keep making sure the people who need help get it. I won’t stop what I do.”

“I know. As much as it pains me, I know. You can hate me as much as you want. Do everything in your power as you already have been to keep hurting me. I don’t care. I deserve it. I know I’ve failed you but don’t do this to Dick. Don’t do this to yourself. He’s being stretched thin between the both of us and if you have any real feelings for him at all. You won’t do this. He deserves as much of a normal relationship that this could possibly ever be. He needs someone at his side Jason. If that’s going to be you, fine but do it the right way.”

Bruce knew he was pushing too hard where no one invited him to push but he’d be damned if it were his fault Dick couldn’t have something as simple as a relationship. It was a luxury he couldn’t afford but there was nothing stopping Dick. He still had a chance at this and that’s something Bruce would never deny him.

“Come home, Jason. There’s no need for this. As you said, you’ll keep killing and…. Whatever else but there’s no amount of killing you could ever do that would make you any less my son than you ever were. I want you to come home. I always have and it just took this to make me realize maybe I hadn’t been clear enough. That I hadn’t tried hard enough and we’ll figure out the rest. It won’t be easy but I’m not giving up on you. I never have and I never will.”

Jason stood silently a while longer, taking in everything that had been said. He can’t remember Bruce ever having been this open with him or this close to pleading.  He was serious this time and if nothing else, not that he’d ever admit it, he really did care about Dick and Bruce was right. He did deserve better. He’d seen how hurt and disappointed Dick had been every time he had to leave to go home without him. How happy Dick woke up on weekends when he stayed over and saw him still in bed, waiting for him so they could spend the day together. He really had received all the things Bruce mentioned but none of that took away what happened the day he died and came back to find that Bruce had done nothing about it.

He knew that anger would never completely go away. He’d never be able to fully forgive Bruce but maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to make this work. Despite his anger, he still hadn’t forgotten that not all times with Bruce had been bad. He still remembered falling asleep with his head on Bruce’s shoulder while watching a movie and the first day he got to be Robin. He remembered all the times Bruce sat there as awkward as only Bruce knew how to be when he was upset or crying over something that had gone wrong in his life in an attempt to comfort him and he knew even if Bruce hadn’t avenged him, he would easily have died in his place. Some things couldn’t be forgiven but, sometimes, it was worth it to pretend they were. This was one of those times.

“This really depends B.” He finally replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“On what?”

Jason could almost hear the desperation in his voice seeing there was a chance he would give in. If Bruce only knew he already had. “What’s for dinner?” He replied with a bit of a cheeky grin that Bruce hadn’t seen since he was maybe twelve.

Bruce couldn’t help but grin back. “Anything you want. Anything.”

“Tell Al to get my faves going.  I have a lot of catching up to do on good food” He replied as he brushed past Bruce and headed out the broken window from which Bruce had come in from. “And double up on the sauce.”

Bruce smiled to himself and followed him out. “I’ll ask Alfred to make sure your room is ready.”

“Pft. Don’t bother B. Won’t be staying in it.” He shot back as he slid down the railing along the fire escape.

“Then where-“

“Dick’s room pops.” Jason informed cutting him off. “You think I’m missing out on waking up to that sweet ass for morning sex? Like hell.”

“Jason!” Bruce growled, landing with a loud thud next to him as he jumped the final floors. “Don’t”

“Fuck him in the morning or…?” He knew what Bruce meant but just because he was letting Bruce have his way didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy taking cheap shots whenever he got the chance.

“Talk like that about Dick again. Alfred would be less than pleased to hear it.” Bruce shot back, knowing which battles just weren’t worth fighting.

“Oh I’d never say any of this in front of Al. I actually like him.” Jason replied with a snicker as he slid into the driver’s seat. “And Dibs!”

Bruce growled for what felt like the umpteenth time that night and got in the passenger’s seat, handing him the key. _“Pick your battles.”_  He thought to himself with a sigh.


	8. Doin' DIrt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok for those that aren't all to in to it, I'll give the warning now. This is the first chapter with actual full blown sex. Its JayDick sex so if you're not up for that, feel free to skip over that part because the rest of the story is back to normal as soon as it ends. For those of you that do read, please forgive the fuck out of me because I can't remember the last time I wrote anything, much less porn so if its awkward, have mercy.
> 
> Thank you so so much to all the sweet and amazing people that have left me reviews and kudos. You all have no idea how excited I get to read them and reply.

 

\-------------------

When they were finally back, Jason wasted no time making his way up familiar stairs to where he knew Dick would be and Bruce made his way to the kitchen to update Alfred on the latest events that had taken place, sparing the older man the _unnecessary_ details. Jason opened the door to Dick’s room and smiled as he noticed Dick slumped over his computer, mid work and sleeping. He knew he tended to be a little rougher than necessary when they were together and how worn out Dick would be after they’d met up. He knew it may have been a bit over kill but it also felt like his own personal assurance Dick had no time or energy for anyone but him. The idea of Dick seeing anyone else due to their ‘unofficial’ three year relationship – which they’d celebrated that night- was enough to make his stomach turn.

He made his way over and gently scooped the slightly smaller man into his arms, kissing his forehead almost too lightly and laying him down onto his bed. He worked carefully to tug the clothes off without waking him, admiring how peaceful he looked as he slept, a guilty pleasure indulged in whenever he got the chance to see a sleeping Dick, but failed just as he’d managed to get his pants open.

“Jay?” Dick questioned groggily as he forced his eyes open attempting to shoot up into a sitting position. “Jay! Oh my god what are you doing here?! Bruce is going to kill us and-“

Jason cut him off with a hard kiss as he pushed him to lay back and continued to tug at his pants until they were around his ankles. “Bruce knows. We’re alive, he’s alive, everything is fine baby, relax.” He replied adding the last part in for the other’s benefit, knowing how Dick’s mind worked.

Dick kissed him back quickly and gave him a slight grin. “Does this mean you’re home?”

“I’m home” Jason confirmed, kissing him again and moving to lay on top of him.

Dick kicked off his pants from around his ankles and wrapped his arms loosely around Jason’s neck, playing carefully with the hair on the back of his neck. “What changed your mind?”

“Isn’t it always you?” He asked with a soft grin.

“Seems like.” Dick replied with a grin of his own. “Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend now?”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself little wing but well, it’s been three years after all, seems like I’m not getting out of this mess any time soon.”

Dick kissed him hard and his arms tightened around his neck, enjoying the feel of soft, slightly chapped lips moving against his. He knew he was done for the first time Jason had kissed him all those years ago and even now he still got the jittery feeling wound tight in his stomach. Jason kissed him back just as hard and he felt himself smile into the kiss a bit as his hand slid between Dick and the bed to dig into the flesh of his firm, round ass. “ ’Sides, no way I’m passing up getting more time in this sweet little ass of yours” Jason whispered, voice already starting to drop as he began thinking about how delicious it felt to sink his teeth into those pale white, scar tainted thighs and how Dick’s back bent into a perfect arch followed by the sluttiest moan as Jason’s tongue found its way down to his tight, needy hole.

“Or having me in yours” Dick returned playfully, voice a mix of sleepy and aroused as his own hands found their way down Jason’s toned back to slip past the band of his jeans and boxers, giving his ass a squeeze of his own. “Or having you in mine.” Jason agreed with a playful smirk. Dick chuckled and tugged at the hem of his shirt and Jason happily helped him to take it off, instantly finding Dick’s neck and leaving a trail of kisses down to his collar bone and nibbling. “Jaaay…” Dick whined, bringing his hands up to tangle into the soft wavy hair, trying to urge him lower. “Mnn” Jason hummed in reply, letting Dick push him a little lower until his lips brushed against a lightly tanned and perky nipple. “Always in such a rush babe. This what you want?” He mumbled as his tongue poked out to flick against the right one, watching it jump to full attention.

“Fuck yes” Dick hissed in reply, rolling his hips up against Jason’s firm stomach in search of more friction against his now half hard cock. “Want you.” Dick murmured and Jason moaned against his chest in reply to his plea, bringing the nipple between his teeth, nipping it quickly before sucking hungrily. Dick sighed contentedly and spread his legs so Jason could lie comfortably between them and lifted his own hips again, pressing against up into the other man as he tried to push the head teasing his sensitive nipples lower. “Patience Dickie.” Jason teased, moving to pay the other nipple equal amounts of attention, shifting so he as lining his own cock against Dick’s and grinding down. He shivered at how hot it felt, even with all the fabric still between them. “You know I always give you what you want.” Jason murmured as he placed a kiss on the center of Dick’s chest before kissing a trail down to his stomach, loving how the muscles beneath his lips contracted in response. “So hot.”

Dick tightened his grip on the dark locks and tugged them a little more urgently as Jason got closer to where he needed him. “Jay please!” He groaned, legs falling further apart. Jason loved hearing Dick’s voice so needy, begging for him. It was no secret to him Dick had always loved being touched and who was he to deny him? He let his hands wander down his ribs, tracing down to protruding hip bones with the tips of his fingers before hooking them into the sides of his very tented and slightly dampened boxers,tugging them down. He traced down the center line between Dick’s abs with his tongue to dip into his belly button, grinding his own steadily hardening length down into the bed. Dick’s tip pressed just under his chin as he shifted lower and he bent his head down to kiss it, licking the pearl of pre-cum off his lips.

Dick shivered and sighed, cock twitching in anticipation as Jason’s breath ghosted over it. It didn’t matter how many times Jason did this, it always felt just as exciting as the first time. Jason gave Dick his favorite, heart melting smile before hooking his hands under Dick’s thighs, holding them up and apart against his sides. He turned his head and placed a quick bite on the left one, just above a faded scar before sinking his teeth in and moaning. Dick tried to instinctually shut his thighs with a gasp and Jason tightened his grip on them with a growl, pressing his fingers in hard enough to bruise as he held them apart before sinking his teeth in a little deeper and sucking a mark into the milky flesh. “Mine.” Jason grumbled, kissing the mark before repeating the process on the other thigh. “All mine.” He repeated, looking up at Dick through heavily lidded eyes.

“I’m yours.” Dick confirmed, letting his head fall back onto the pillow as fingers anxiously attempted to again direct Jason to his aching cock. Jason finally complied, placing a trail of hot, wet kisses from his balls to his tip before flicking his tongue against the slit and sucking as much as he could into his mouth. Dick groaned loudly and rolled his hips up, trying to push deeper as his hands held firmly onto the back of Jason’s head. Jason took a deep breath through his nose and let his jaw fall slack, letting Dick have his way. Dick instantly took his cue and fucked his length into Jason’s mouth, moaning and whimpering wildly as he lost himself to pleasure. “Oh fuck yes, fuck Jay. You’re so fucking good baby.” He praised as his hips found a rhythm, causing a constant wet suction sound with each thrust which only turned him on more.

Jason let his hands wander from Dick’s thighs to his ass giving his cheeks a rough squeeze, just the way he knew Dick liked as he choked slightly as the tip pressed into the back of his throat. Jason swirled his tongue skillfully all around his length, paying extra attention to his slit before relaxing his throat to take Dick in deeper. He lifted Dick’s hips higher with another squeeze to the round globs of flesh between his fingers and took him in until his nose rested against the soft curls against his hips. Dick let out a strangled noise, arching his hips as high as Jason would allow, massaging his fingers into the other man’s scalp. He could feel himself starting to get close way sooner than he’d planned but that always happened with Jason and he was still relatively sensitive from their previous session that night. Jason knew exactly how to touch him to drive him to the point of losing his mind.

He tugged Jason off and panted hard, licking his lips and looking down at the man between his legs, now smirking devilishly with swollen, wet lips. “Something wrong babe?” Jason asked, knowing by the constant stream of precum and Dick’s moans exactly what was ‘wrong’. “Want you…” Dick whined, pulling him up for a heated kiss. Jason happily complied and pressed his lips hard against Dick’s, sucking on his lower lip gently. Dick worked his hands down Jason’s chest and abs to open his pants and slid his fingers up and down the hard length he found covered by boxers, earning him a small shiver. “Hard for me Jay bird?” Dick teased between kisses, licking playfully at Jason’s full lower lip as he palmed the fully hardened length in his hand.

Jason groaned and licked Dick’s tongue, kissing him desperately, pushing his tongue into his mouth. Dick groaned into the kiss and teased Jason’s tongue a bit before sucking on his lower lip, reaching blindly over to his nightstand and feeling around for the drawer so he could get the lube. Jason broke the kiss slightly and frowned. “Should I even ask why you keep that there?” Dick couldn’t help but laugh a little as he slid the bottle into Jason’s hand, dipping his fingers past the other man’s boxers to pull him out. “What, you thought I’d get off dry on nights I couldn’t see you? Toys aren’t as fun dry and neither are my fingers” Dick replied, placing a soft kiss at the corner of Jason’s lips. “Better be all.” Jason grumbled, half embarrassed, half relieved. Dick rolled his eyes and shivered as he heard the cap open with a muted pop, soon followed by warm, wet fingers pressing against his hole.

Jason kissed Dick again, letting his eyes fall shut as he knowingly made quick work of sliding two slicked fingers past the tight ring, earning him a whimper. Dick kissed him back and placed both hands on either side of Jason’s face tracing the stubble that threatened to form against his jaw with his thumbs, relaxing under Jason’s fingers that wasted no time at all curling into his spot. “-cking- tight.” Jason groaned as he began to scissor Dick open and Dick smiled at the odd praise. He loved knowing Jason enjoyed his body. Jason pressed his thumb against the spot under Dick’s balls and massaged it in small, firm circular motions as he continued to scissor and massage Dick’s spot. Dick whimpered and moaned with every twist and stretch of the fingers inside him, panting against Jason’s shoulder. His nails pressed in between the younger man’s shoulder blades and his hips moved of their own accord and Jason couldn’t get enough.

There were days where Jason was satisfied with getting Dick off on his fingers alone. He loved watching the acrobats face twisted in pleasure, eyes screwed shut focusing on nothing but how _good_ the fingers inside him felt. Jason spared Dick a quick glance as his fingers picked up their pace and he felt himself groan. Eyes shut tightly, lips slightly parted and wet, cheeks flushed and a slight sheen of sweat glowing under the little light that hit his face through the shadows of the older man above him. “J-Jay p-please I-“. Jason cut his pleas off with a quick kiss and a hard thrust of his fingers. “Shhh. I know what you need baby, don’t worry.” Jason cooed as he slid his fingers out, retaking the small bottle in his hand and lubing his now fully hard and dripping cock which he’d somehow managed to forget as he got lost in Dick and slid his tip up and down slowly between his cheeks, brushing against his hole. Dick whined and rolled his hips down eagerly, finally opening his eyes to look up at Jason.

“There you are.” Jason whispered with a small smile, pressing his lips against his forehead as he slowly pressed the tip in. Dick whimpered and pulled Jason closer, running his nose up Jason’s throat to kiss his jaw, hissing slightly as Jason pressed in deeper. Jason littered Dick’s face with small, appreciative kisses until he found his lips again, kissing and licking purposefully, only satisfied when Dick’s tongue came out to meet his. Jason kept pressing in slowly, mindful that Dick was still sore and finally stilled when he was all the way in, switching from lighter kisses to a fully passionate one, stifling a particularly loud moan trying to fight its way out. “Shit Dickie, so good. Fuck.” Dick finally removed his hands from between Jason’s shoulder blades and traced the small welts left in their wake as he moved to grab his ass to force him to push in closer. Jason took his cue and slowly pulled back before rolling his hips forward, slipping his tongue into Dick’s mouth as they moaned in unison.

Dick lifted his hips to meet Jason and soon the thrusts turned faster, Jason occasionally slamming in with a loud ‘smack’ followed by a grunt. Dick was soon moving effortlessly with his rhythm and making a flurry of noises that spurred Jason on. Somewhere between their lusty haze, they missed the knocks at the door and jumped with a start when they heard Bruce’s voice. Jason’s hips stuttered at the interruption and growled looking back to see Bruce had let himself in, standing at the door with eyes wide before shutting them and rubbing over his face with one of his hands.

“B-Bruce oh my God!” Dick cried out, scrambling fruitlessly to pull the blanket beneath them up to cover them, trying to push Jason off in frustration when he’d failed.

Jason gave a hard roll of his hips, slamming into Dick and effectively pinning him down. “Must be your lucky day, I have my pants on now if you don’t mind B, we’re a little busy.” Jason shot testily, not appreciating in the slightest the interruption.

“Dinner in twenty. I expect you both _decent_ and showered at the table by then.” Bruce replied icily, pouring every ounce of distaste for the situation in his glare towards Jason.

“Then get out. Sooner you’re gone, sooner we can wrap this up and be there.” Jason shot back, returning Bruce’s glares with one of his own.

Dick lay back horrified, hands over his face in disbelief this was happening. The door slammed shut as Bruce left and Jason turned back to face Dick.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Did you seriously just bicker with Bruce while _in my ass?!_ ” Dick hissed, narrowing his eyes angrily at Jason.

“Where else was I supposed to do it, while I was in his ass? Excuse me for not tying a fucking bell around his damn neck!” Jason growled angrily in response.

Dick tried again to push Jason off and was rewarded with a hard kiss as Jason refused and resumed moving his hips, pistoning hard and fast in and out of Dick the way he did whenever they wound up having angry sex. He’d found out long ago Dick was a glutton for punishment and regardless of who had been wrong or right, if he moved his hips and hit Dick’s spot in just the right way, Dick was putty in his hands and this time was no exception. Dick’s hands flew to grip the sheets followed by a painfully loud moan. Jason dug his nails into Dick’s hips and pounded frantically into him, panting and grunting as Dick got tighter around him.

Dick arched his back almost completely off the bed and murmured unintelligibly as his head thrashed from side to side, his orgasm starting to build at the pit of his stomach. “Like it hard don’t you? Like having this tight little ass pounded raw, huh?” Jason whispered, lowering his head to Dick’s neck for a rough bite. Dick almost screamed out as he came, hot white streaks shooting out across his chest, some hitting his chin and cheek. Jason worried a mark into the spot he’d bitten into and kept ruthlessly pounding Dick’s overly sensitive ass, fucking him as he pleased to get himself off. He was so close, he only needed a little bit more. “F-Fuck Jason, just- fuck! Cum!” And that was it. The last bit he needed before he slammed in to the hilt and came hard inside Dick. He loved giving Dick what he wanted and he couldn’t deny his orgasm when he begged for it. Dick whined as Jason’s thrusts came down to a lazy roll, rubbing the slippery hot mess against his insides. He could feel little drops slipping down between the cleft of his ass and sighed, letting his head fall back on the pillow, melted and thoroughly satisfied.

Jason knew how much Dick love it when they got messy so he pushed through his own sensitivity and kept lazily fucking his cum in and out of Dick, kissing the welt he’d left on the side of his neck up to his lips. Once he stopped moving, satisfied that most of the cum had been pumped out, he carefully lay down on Dick’s chest, cheek against his shoulder and sighed, closing his eyes to enjoy his afterglow.  Dick lazily stroked up and down his sweat dampened back and nuzzled his hair lightly, basking in the scent of sex and sweat. If there was another thing Dick knew Jason enjoyed, it was staying inside him after it was over and he gladly complied, not too upset at the idea himself. He liked being connected to the man just a little longer, just enjoying the feel of it when they weren’t in a frenzied rush to get off. Jason wrapped his arms tightly around Dick, like a protective child, still panting lightly which tickled his neck.

“We have to face him eventually Jay.” Dick said softly, not wanting to break the peaceful silence between them but still knowing they had to be down soon. He kissed the sweat dampened hair on the head resting on his shoulder and smiled to himself. He knew he was supposed to be upset and angry but for some reason, that seemed so unimportant at the moment. It could be the afterglow speaking and probably was but he’d cross that bridge when it arrived.

“Nng.” Was Jason’s response, followed by a mumble as he slid out of Dick and sat up, running his fingers through his hair.

Dick smiled and rolled off the bed, leading the way to the bathroom and Jason followed suit with a satisfied grin on his face. He could hardly believe he’d get to be with Dick like this every day from now on. For once in his life, he was sure he’d made the right choice.


	9. Hareder to breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone for all the kudos, reviews and bookmarks. They make me so happy you guys have no idea. I adore all of you!

 

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On their way down to dinner, Bruce stopped them in the hall and Jason sighed. He knew this was coming but really hoped it could wait until after dinner. He was starving.

“Dick, a word please.” Bruce stated calmly.

They both stood there for a minute before Bruce’s already less than pleased look turned into a straight frown. “Alone.”

Jason gave him the nastiest glare he could muster, very tempted to tell him where he could shove his shit but thought better of it for Dick’s sake. He gave _his_ acrobat a quick kiss and an apologetic look before heading down. “Don’t know why you bother B, he’s gonna tell me later anyway.” Jason grumbled before finally disappearing into the kitchen.

 

“I’m really sorry about before, I was asleep and he forgot to lock the door and-“ Dick quickly stopped talking when he noticed Bruce had his business look on. Whatever he had to say was clearly beyond Dick’s apologies.

“Dick, I understand that you and Jason are together and that’s…. _fine._ ” Bruce forced before clearing his throat. “However, I will not tolerate Jason using you against me in his personal vendetta to get back at me. Consider this a warning. As much as I want him home, I will not allow him to disrespect my other sons and my home.”

Dick stared at him, wide-eyed. _Using him against Bruce._  Is that was this was? Is that why Jason was interested in him? To get back at Bruce? He felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach and it churned angrily, threatening to spill its non-existent contents out. He knew Jason was capable of a lot of low blows to spite Bruce but this? Using him? He sullenly turned his eyes towards the floor to avoid letting Bruce see how upset he actually was. Bruce knew better though. He knew the tell-tale signs Dick gave out when something really upset him and they were all there, “Dick I know this was a huge step and I didn’t mean to mess it up I just don’t want him doing that when Damian or Alfred or even Tim could easily walk in and see it.” He offered, clearly misunderstanding the situation.

“It’s fine B, let’s have dinner.”  Dick replied dejectedly, heading off toward the kitchen where the rest of his family was.

Bruce frowned and followed, knowing whatever this was, it was far from over. Jason spared Dick a glance when he came in, instantly frowning when he saw how pale and distraught Dick was. He instantly shot Bruce a death glare before moving to sit beside Dick, slipping his hand into the slightly clammier one rested on Dick’s thigh. Dick pulled his hand back and laced his own fingers together, ignoring Jason until the food was served. Jason felt his heart sink. Dick had never treated him that way. Somehow, Bruce had found a way to ruin one more good thing in his life. Tim glanced around the table nervously, almost choking on the tension and winced as even Alfred stayed silent. Damian shrugged indifferently and served himself, uncaring as to anything going on around him.

Dick didn’t lift his eyes from his plate throughout the entire impromptu late night/early morning dinner and Tim analytically watched each movement from the others surrounding him at the table. Dick was clearly upset at Jason for reasons he couldn’t imagine. He’d known Dick and Jason had been together for some time now and Dick always told him how much he’d wanted Jason to come home so they could be together and here Jason was. So why was he so upset? His eyes then fell on Bruce and his jaw was set into a hard line and his eyes colder than ever. That indicated that whatever had happened, Bruce was involved. Finally his eyes fell on Alfred that pitifully looked between the three men and the food that mostly sat untouched. Clearly Alfred had some idea of what was going on and was hoping to ease the amounting tension with food.

After a few minutes, Jason seemed to surrender to the fact that Dick wasn’t going to acknowledge him and with a sigh, made his plate. Never in his life had Tim seen this many people this upset while eating something Alfred cooked, and it seemed Alfred shared the same thought. Dick numbly plowed through his dinner and excused himself as soon as most of his food had been cleared. Jason slumped further in his seat but continued to eat anyway, clearly conflicted between his stomach and the retreating figure leaving the kitchen. He stuffed as much as he could into his mouth and blurted a muffled excuse as he fled the table after Dick, chewing as he sprinted.

“Great. Now that that’s over, may we please refrain from acting like this is acceptable?” Damian sneered. “If this is what dinner with that moron is going to be like, send him to whatever fleabag motel you found him in and let bygones be bygones.”

“Wish we could do that to you.” Tim shot back, narrowing his eyes as the bratty younger boy across the table, wincing as a door slammed high above them.

Alfred shot them both an unusual glance and both fell silent. Bruce was thankful that even though he couldn`t keep his boys under control, that Alfred could. He`d really had a long night and needed nothing but sleep. They all finished soon after and Tim stayed behind to help Alfred with dishes, enjoying the quiet silence between them.

“Dick, come on, talk to me. What did he say to make you this upset?” Jason pleaded, sitting with his back against Dick’s door.

“Nothing Jason. It’s fine.”

“Clearly its not fine because my boyfriend is in his room and I’m sitting outside talking to him through a door.” Jason replied, voice rising a bit higher than he intended.

Dick’s heart fluttered at the word boyfriend and constricted again, worrying about just how much of this had been real, if any. He opened his mouth to reply but realized he had nothing to say. Dick didn’t want to confront him about the situation, he didn’t want to be another reason for the rift between him and Bruce but he also wasn’t going to let himself continue to be used as leverage.

“Dick, come on. He walked in on us, so what. Not like he thought either of us were virgins and not like he’s never had sex or seen people do it. Can you just tell me what he said? We can lock the door next time if you want just- don’t do this.” Jason pleaded, knocking his head back against the door in frustration.

Dick angrily glared at the door. Is that all he really thought this was about? Of course. He didn’t know he was on to his game. “I need some space Jason. By some I mean a lot. We can talk about this some other time. Go sleep in your room and we can deal with this when I’m not so tired.”

Jason felt himself tense. Dick had never shut him out this badly before. Whatever this was, it wasn’t just being caught. That Dick would have nagged and whined about for a while and they’d work it out and establish limits. Whatever this was, it was Bruce. He stood up, having nothing left to say and made his way to Bruce’s room, not bothering to knock as he let himself in. “Thanks again B. Thanks for taking away the last good thing about my life. Hope you’re happy.” Jason growled, not giving Bruce a chance to react or reply before he shut the door and made his way out of the manor. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself at that point. Never had he imagined that this could have turned out so badly in such a short amount of time.

It took him a while, walking down the streets until he found a taxi working and willing to take him even remotely near his place and even just to go near the neighborhood, rates were doubled. He made his way up and fell face first into bed, letting out a long sigh, letting everything sink in. He couldn’t believe three years were gone in less than an hour over something so… stupid. Even so, he couldn’t help but start to feel empty. Already imagining every detail about Dick he’d miss. His soft hair, the way he clung on tight while they slept, his pout, his smile, his god-awful puns. The memory of the last pun Dick dished out had Jason grinning to himself and his heart tightened just so. He got up and went to a box where he kept his things and lifted the shirt Dick wore when they spent the day together and brought it to his nose, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. It still smelled strongly of a mix of the other man’s scent. Sweat, cologne and something uniquely him laced with that magical soap only Alfred knew where to find. He made his way back to bed and lay back down, not bothering to undress at all, and held the shirt close to his face, lulling himself to sleep with the familiar scent.


	10. Lucky Strike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but work has been a nightmare. I spent 3 days in another state training some people and had zero down time.
> 
> Thanks again for all the kudos and comments and I hope to hear from you guys again!

 

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Clark was just counting off Bruce’s heartbeats to fall asleep when they suddenly went through a flurry of changes in speeds, as though he was fighting to keep control. He knew his friend had gone to talk to his adopted sons that evening and suddenly worried something had gone wrong. He tried to listen in just as a door slammed, followed by complete silence. That wasn’t a good sign. He made his way over in record time, knowing if his heartbeat was anything to go off of, Bruce needed him. Bruce turned his eyes up from the door that had just slammed shut towards the curtains as they blew in roughly.

“Bruce?”

Clark. Somehow he always knew right when Bruce needed him. That never failed to amaze him and at that moment he was grateful for whatever brought the man over. He wasn’t sure what he’d done but he’d let Jason down again and when it came to Jason, he was done being too proud to let help in. If not for himself, then for Jason. It was the least he felt he could do. Clark made his way over to Bruce’s bed and watched for Bruce’s reaction, knowing Bruce would make it clear if he were overstepping any lines. Once he decided no reaction was going to come from Bruce, he moved closer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Talk about it?” Clark offered, voice dripping with that unearthly kindness Bruce had learned to envy as much as he adored it. It’s something he learned he would never be able to do himself, only as Brucie and he hated constantly having to be someone else. He didn’t want to drip false sympathy and kindness with his family and for the most part, they didn’t hold it against him.

“Jason came home but then… He left. I caught him _in_ Dick this time and I tried talking to Dick and telling him this sort of thing wasn’t acceptable. Dick’s mood turned quickly, leading to the most uncomfortable dinner of my life and then Jason storming in to thank me for ruining the rest of his life. I’m not sure which part of what I said did it Clark. I mean, how awful can I be for asking for respect in my own home?”

Clark frowned a bit, mulling over what Bruce had said and if it was only what Bruce had said, he couldn’t see the problem outright. Maybe he’d left something out? Or it was the way he said it?

“What exactly did you say Bruce? Maybe we’re missing something here.” Clark replied, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. 

“Well,” Bruce began, closing his eyes and thinking back word for word.

 

**_“Dick, I understand that you and Jason are together and that’s…. fine.” “However, I will not tolerate Jason using you against me in his personal vendetta to get back at me. Consider this a warning. As much as I want him home, I will not allow him to disrespect my other sons and my home.”_ **

 

 

Clark’s eyed widened and he couldn’t help but openly stare at Bruce.

“Is this honestly how you approached that topic? Hinting that his boyfriend is using him to get revenge on you and threatening him in the process, topped off with a guilt trip? Gee-wow.”

Bruce narrowed his eyes and glared over at Clark. “You make it sound like I’m a monster.”

“No, I just took what you said and put it into a simplified version. What I got out of that is exactly what any normal person would Bruce. The first night Jason is home, yeah he probably got excited and went to celebrate _with his boyfriend._ Hardly a crime. A simple ‘please lock the door next time’ would have been more than good.” Clark argued exasperatedly, giving Bruce his best ‘please come back to Earth with the rest of us’ look.

Bruce thought it over and sighed. He hadn’t meant for it to come out that way but Jason had been wearing his patience thin since the moment he first saw him that night and it seems he was so emotionally exhausted that he’d let himself slip. “Well. What should I do now?”

Clark smiled a bit and moved to rest his chin on Bruce’s shoulder which was met with an irritated growl from Bruce, as was almost all physical contact. “Now you sleep.”

“Clark! _Be serious._ ” Bruce snapped, trying pointlessly to shove Clark off his shoulder.

“But I am. It’s almost three in the morning Bruce. Everyone is too tired to deal with this right now and thinking while hot headed will only make things worse.” Clark replied, already pushing Bruce to lay down. He ignored Bruce’s struggles and held the man down with a hand over his chest, as lightly as possible while still being effective enough to achieve his goal, moving to pull the blanket up before laying next to Bruce over the pillow.

“Are you seriously laying in my bed?” Bruce asked, clearly irritated.

“No, jokingly laying in your bed. Just, relax and let me do this. Just this once.”

“I’m not five Clark, I don’t do sleep overs. I don’t even let the women I have sex with sleep in my bed. What do you think makes you special?” Bruce questioned, still slightly struggling against the weight on his chest.

“Because you go through those poor ladies faster than even I can keep up with but last I checked, I was and still am your only best friend. Not to mention that they don’t know you and well, I’d like to think if I don’t by now, that I’m getting pretty close.” Clark offered with a boyish grin and as always, Bruce couldn’t help but feel lightheaded when faced with the alien’s smile.

“I’m not getting out of this one, am I?” Bruce grumbled, already knowing Clark had his heart set on this, pulling out the dreaded boy-scout smile.

“Not this time, no. Sorry. Just this once, you’ll have to make an exception for me.”

“Hm.” Bruce replied, relaxing back into his pillow, watching Clark analytically out of the corner of his eye as the weight lifted off his chest.

Clark rolled onto his side, keeping a safe distance but still facing Bruce. Bruce closed his eyes for a minute or two and frowned. “Stop looking at me.”

“Why, afraid I’m gonna fall for you?” Clark teased, grinning again.

“No, because a man in his boxers in my bed staring at me while I sleep is again, something I usually only go through when I’ve had a _much_ better night.” Bruce grumbled, swallowing drly. This was the second time he’d seen Clark in nothing but boxers and he was starting to find this was something he needed to avoid. He had a personal preference for his friends keeping their pants on in his presence. Especially physically flawless best friends.

“What are you-“ Clark cut himself off as he looked down and groaned. He’d been in such a rush to check on Bruce, he’d forgotten to dress himself and here he was, half naked in Bruce’s bed, watching him like a creep. Bruce must be really tired because he couldn’t imagine any other time where this wouldn’t have earned him a glare hard enough to send him to hell and back a minimum of five times. “Wow this is awkward.” Clark sighed.

Bruce couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re telling me? I’m the one being subjected to all this.”

“Sorry but, I’m still not going. I’m going to make sure you actually sleep and don’t stay up over thinking and going out and doing something stupid.” Clark replied, trying to figure out how to hide his awkward state of undress.

“Like bring Jason apple pie at four in the morning?” Bruce offered, eyes once again closed but smile persisting.

“Like bringing Jason apple pie at four in the morning.” Clark confirmed, thankful when Bruce lifted the blanket to let him in.

“Next time I expect a least a dinner. What would your mother say if she knew you were sneaking in through men’s windows in your boxers and forcing your way into their bed? What kind of boy-scout are you?” Bruce teased.

Clark’s face flushed a dark red and he felt his cheeks heating up. “ Y-yeah. Ok. Yeah dinner. I can do that.” Clark stammered, imagining exactly what his mother would say.

Bruce couldn’t help but watch the tirade of emotions across Clark’s face and rolled his eyes. “Go to sleep Clark, your thinking is so loud I’d sleep with more peace in the subway station during rush hour.”

Clark apologized dumbly and closed his eyes, trying to sleep and Bruce did the same, surprisingly much more ok with this whole alien in boxers in his bed situation than he originally imagined. It wasn’t long before they were both long gone, exhaustion keeping them deep under the weight of sleep.


	11. Sunday Morning

 

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Jason woke up later the same day, however, still way too early for his tastes he decided as he looked out the window and saw there were still no signs of the sun coming up. That meant he`s gotten less than two hours of sleep and his body told him so with aches in just about everywhere he could think of. He sat up and rubbed angrily at his face, deciding to squeeze in a quick round across the neighborhood before trying to sleep the day away. He topped his costume off with his usual red helmet and made his way out the window, a family habit of sorts, and wandered aimlessly down the streets, ignoring drug dealers as they greeted him while going about business. As long as no kids were involved, he had no reason to be either. If these idiots wanted to pay people to kill them slowly, so be it.

He had been walking for all of maybe twenty minutes before a hushed argument called his attention.

“I’m using my right to refuse you service.” The woman replied to whatever the man had said to her, backing up a few steps to get him out of her personal space.

“You ain’t got that right. Gonna fuck that little boy pussy you got there and you can either do this the nice way and get paid or I’ll take what I want and keep the tip.”

Jason then looked at the woman’s face and realized he recognized her. He’d swooped in a few times before when her clients got especially nasty and had ended up spending a few hours talking to her, finding her endearing. Her name was Tiffany. She’d told him during their second meeting how she came to be a worker in this part of town. Her parents had thrown her out two days after she’d turned seventeen and told them she was going through with her operation to be transgendered.

He’d felt a sort of pride when she told him, admired the courage that took and in a way, decided this was the kind of person he wanted to be friends with. If she had the courage to be out on her own just to be able to live freely, he needed to have the same courage when he stuck to his choices, even when subconsciously, he could hear Bruce telling him not to kill. He still found himself feeling guilty every now and then but he knew every one of those monsters he took off the streets permanently would be one less family taken apart. A dozen lives minimum spared so he knew he’d done the right thing. He’d long ago accepted there was more than one way of being right and this was his right.

Jason quickly swooped down and in no time flat had the man’s face shoved roughly against the brick wall. “Did you miss the class where they explained the meaning of ‘no’? If so let me take you back to school for a quick lesson.” He hissed, grabbing the man’s wrist and twisting it painfully around to press into the small of his back, smiling with a small amount of satisfaction at the’ pop’ that followed.

The man screamed and squirmed, trying to push Jason away and Tiffany stood still for a moment longer, piecing together what had just happened and grinning to herself. “If I see your face in these parts again, you won’t have a face after I’m done with you.” Jason spat as he pushed the man away from them with an angry kick to his lower spine. He cried out as he fell, scrambling to his feet before running as fast as his feet could carry him.

“Well if it isn’t my guardian devil.” Tiffany teased, grinning wider and moving towards Jason with arms held out for a hug.

Jason chuckled and gladly fell into the embrace, giving her a tight squeeze. “If it isn’t my favorite damsel in distress.” He replied, returning her grin with one of his own under the helmet.

“Sure seems like it, huh?” she joked, moving back to tap between his eyes on the helmet. “You do know this thing looks horrible , right?”

Jason shrugged and nodded, not really one to concern himself with fashion enough to mind. “I’ll keep that in mind. You busy for the rest of the night?”

He’d had one hell of a night and suddenly realized he was a little needy for attention. In the past, he hadn’t given much thought to friendships outside Roy and Kory and they were long gone from his life given their hiatus in hero business. As much as he needed people and to be around them, it always slipped his mind that friendships required work. He never called people back, never made a point in seeing anyone other than Dick so that left Tiffany as the closest option and he couldn’t say he minded that too much. She seemed like a good option. She’d understand him, even if just a little. For him that was enough.

She arched a perfectly done eyebrow at him and fixed her long auburn hair over one of her shoulders. “I didn’t take you for the type hood.”

Jason snorted. “Well, I did just cost you some business. How much are you down in terms of profit? I’ll make it worth the night.”

Her faced twisted into the perfect picture of confusion before she answered. “Depends on what you’re looking for? I mean I’m not sure how much I would have made tonight and seriously? You want me that long? I’m not exactly sure how much my body can handle and I don’t do discounts for my down time while I recover.”

Jason was now openly laughing. “For breakfast, Tiff. Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s just breakfast and well, I need a friend. Had a bit of a rough night and I guess sex isn’t exactly first thought going through my mind right now.”

“Well excuse me.” She teased, much more relaxed once things seemed to be back where they were supposed to be. “You don’t have to pay me for that. I could use some friend time at the moment too. Been too long since I had any of that.”

“Don’t take it personally Tiff, if I had to pay anyone for looking cute in my bed, you’d be top of the list.” Jason replied lightly, placing his arm loosely around her neck and walking towards his place. “My place alright? I’m not half bad at cooking y’know.”

“On one condition.” She shot back, already falling into step with him.

“You take off that tacky thing on your head when we get there. Put some sunglasses on or whatever. I don’t want to talk to this.” She gestured, tapping her nails against the bright red helmet again.

“Deal.” Jason replied, not too worried about it since he had his mask on underneath.

They walked a few blocks in silence before Tiffany spoke up again. “Didn’t you mention the last time we spoke that you were dating a guy with an amazing ass? Where is said amazing ass? Why isn’t he here taking up all your free time, not that I mind of course.”

Jason sighed loudly. “He’s exactly why you’re taking up my free time.”

“Ah.” She replied shyly. “Break up?”

“Not exactly but I think it’s a possibility. Apparently last night my-“ Jason stopped himself before he called Bruce dad. What was Bruce to him now?

“His dad sort of caught us and whatever he said to my boyfriend seems to have been more than he was willing to let me fix.”

Tiffany frowned. “He didn’t even tell you what his dad said? He should have at least tried talking to you about it. Haven’t you guys been together for a while?”

“Three years yesterday.” Jason replied lamely, chest suddenly tight as he remembered how much he already missed Dick.

“Well way to celebrate. His dad is a douche.” Tiffany huffed defensively and Jason couldn’t help but smile as she came to his defense. She was willing to stand up for him; that reminded him what he missed so much about friends.

“Yeah, isn’t it?” he replied, stopping at the entrance of the building and kicking the door open. “Don’t use this much. Sorry.”

Tiffany shrugged and followed him in, stopping as Jason worked the door to his apartment open and again, followed him in. Jason lifted the helmet off and shook his hair out, turning to look back at Tiffany. “Better?”

She stared openly for a few seconds, mouth opening and closing a few times in failed response. “Wow.”

“Sheesh, I’ll put it back on.” Jason grumbled, reaching for the helmet.

“Don’t you dare!” She snapped, taking it out of his hand. “No wonder you wear that thing, you’re too pretty to scare anyone without it.”

Jason frowned and took the helmet back. “I am _not_ pretty Tiff.”

“Pretty.” She echoed, reaching up to touch his face. “Oh my gosh. If your guy doesn’t want you, hook a girl up. I can totally make you my pro-bono case for life. Ten-out of- ten would not mind some of this.”

Jason huffed and rolled his eyes, pouting a little. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He replied, feeling his face heating up slightly.

“Oh my goodness you’re blushing. How precious are you? I can never look at you the same way again. I’m just going to look at that stupid red thing you put on your head and imagine this pretty face all blushy under there and just swoon.” Tiffany squealed out, hands all over his face and hair excitedly.

Jason groaned and held her hands. “Breakfast.”

“Right, breakfast and gut spilling. Do you have icecream? Always good for post-breakup sulk fests.”

“Tiff. I’m not having a sulk fest. I’m just tired. What do you want to eat?” Jason asked, moving toward the kitchen and pulling a few choice ingredients out.

“Eggs are fine. Not much of a morning person. You can go ahead and talk while you cook though.” She replied, finding a stool to sit on.

“Eggs it is. Do you want something more comfortable to wear?” Jason offered, looking at her bright pink, too-tight dress and equally pink, overly high heels.

“You sure this boyfriend of yours is sane? You’re pretty, cook and may be the only man alive to bother to realize how absurdly uncomfortable these clothes are. He’s crazy. Has to be.”

Jason shook his head. “I’m not that great Tiff. He could do a lot better. Should do a lot better.” He replied as he made his way off to his room to get her an old t-shirt and boxer shorts.

“I highly doubt that. And am I just gonna be stuck calling you hood for the rest of my life?” Tiffany asked, struggling slightly to keep decent while trying to remove her heels.

“Jay will do.” Jason replied, handing her the clothes and leaning down to take her heels off. He knew this may not be the smartest decision on his part but something told him he could trust her and all he could do was hope he was right. “Bathroom is in there. Feel free to shower and change. Breakfast is going to be ready soon.”

Tiffany stood and gathered her heels before giving his cheek a quick kiss. “Don’t sell yourself short. He’s lucky to have you and don’t start the gut spilling ‘till I’m back.” She concluded before leaving Jason to cook while she showered.

Jason frowned as he prepared the food, wishing that were somehow true. He never really felt deserving of anything or anyone, especially not someone like Dick. What was worse about all this was that he didn’t know how to fix it or make it better. Dick clearly didn’t want to talk it out. He was still half tempted to go back and break the door down to make Dick at least tell him why. Three years was a lot of time together to just throw away in a single night. He’d never realized just how dependent he’d grown of Dick and it was a little unnerving. It went from a childhood crush on the first Robin to an emotional war after he came back from death to a full blown all-consuming love he hadn’t even realized until he realized he’d lost it. Dick was part of his personal identity and now he was gone.

Jason slammed his fists angrily down onto the counter, frustrated at his lack of ability to properly deal with feelings and the helplessness regarding his own life. He wanted desperately, even if just for a while, have the answer. Know what to do, what to say, how to handle this and just be ok but everything inside him just wanted to go to war against itself and left him feeling an overly-emotional mess. He took a deep breath and tried to direct his focus to breakfast, something simple but enough to push any excessively deep thoughts away until he was ready to try and fail at processing them. Soon enough, Tiffany was back and looking so small and innocent dressed in his clothes and that, like everything else, reminded him of Dick.

“How do I look?” She asked, giving him a small twirl.

“Like you’re too cute to need me saving you from an angry closet-cased married men with no respect for pretty ladies.” Jason replied with a full blown smile.

“Oh God, don’t do that!” Tiffany exclaimed, dramatically covering her eyes with her hands.

Jason looked around frantically then down at himself, at a loss for what she was talking about. “By ‘that’ you mean….?”

“Smile!” She whined, groaning. “How can anyone have a smile that gorgeous?”

Jason stared blankly at her. He couldn’t for the life of him understand what in the world was wrong with her at that moment. He was tempted to attribute it to a lack of sleep. “I’m…. sorry? I think? Man you’re nuts. Are all your customers so ugly that you’re going ape shit on me?”

Tiffany crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Wait till I get my hands on this boyfriend of yours. He’s getting an earful. You should be tired of hearing this by now. He should be telling you this all the damn time.”

Jason bit his lower lip anxiously, feeling guilty. “He does- did. A lot but that’s just how he is. I don’t exactly take anything he says about me all that seriously unless it was a complaint which was usually well deserved.”

“You really are one bolt short of being a complete nut case, aren’t you?” She replied with a grin, as if suddenly understanding him all the much better. She made her way back to the stool and sat, still grinning at him.

“So I’ve been told.” He replied, setting the eggs before her and making his way around to take his seat to her right.

“You spill, I eat. Go.” She said with a grin before picking up her fork and digging in. She had to admit, he wasn’t lying when he said he could cook. Being someone that could set fire to cereal, she didn’t exactly get anything homemade often and this was pretty close to heaven, even if it was just eggs.

“I’m not sure what to spill?” Jason admitted, scrunching his face in frustration.

“Just tell me what’s going on in that messy head of yours and we’ll take it from there.”

Jason thought about all the things he wanted to say and winced realizing half of them were a little on the needy side. “It’s just uhm. I miss him? I mean, it hasn’t even been a day yet but it’s just weird I guess. Knowing I can’t call him over and just do whatever anymore and I’m pretty pissed that I don’t know why? I mean, getting caught is shitty but is it really bad enough to break up over? I kinda thought maybe I meant more to him than that. But then again, who knows what that asshole said. I’m just- frustrated.”  Jason sighed out, crossing his arms over the table and hiding his face between the crevice of one of his elbows.

Despite him not being able to see it, Tiffany offered him a small smile anyway and stroked his back. “Maybe he just needs some time? He might still come and talk to you about it. You never know. Don’t suffer over something that may be nothing. Wait until he’s officially called it off before you go into total melt down mode? You said yourself it’s been less than a day right?”

Jason turned his head slightly sideways to peek up at her and shrugged. “Just never had this problem before. This is actually the longest relationship I’ve ever had. Let’s just say my dating history goes from sad to downright bad.”

“You know you are gonna explain, right?” Tiffany asked, nudging him a bit. “And food’s gone. Let’s head over to the couch. Hard to comfort you on a stool that feels like it’ll topple over if I breathe the wrong way.”

Jason chuckled and sluggishly dragged himself over to the couch, flopping back and groaning as his body reminded him of just how sore he was. Tiffany followed him over  and sat beside him, tugging the blanket he had draped over the back of the couch over them as she turned to sit sideways and facing him. “Good, now go on.” She encouraged.

Jason tilted his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. “Can I smoke? I really need one. I’d been trying to quit since Dick always refused to kiss me when I did but fuck it. He’s not here.”

Tiffany nodded in understanding and Jason pulled the side of his jacket open, tugging out a slim, white stick from the box located in his inside pocket. He patted himself down until he lifted his hips and fished his lighter out of his back pocket, slipping the cigarette between his lips and lighting it. Jason instantly felt himself melt back into the cushions and sighed, pleased as a small wisp of smoke pushed its way past his lips. “God that’s good” he murmured.

“I’d say. Smoking’s not my thing but from the looks of you I’m thinking I should consider giving it a try.” She joked, swishing her hand in front of her face to dissipate the smoke that refused to budge from her breathing air.

“Funny how bad it smells unless you’re the one actually smoking.” Jason said, casually twirling the cigarette between his fingers. Can’t stand the smell unless I’m the one producing it. Go figure.”

“I guess, now come on. Give me the tragic back story. I believe our friendship has leveled up enough for me to be able to access it.”

Jason arched an eyebrow and took another drag. “That had to be the nerdiest comment I’ve heard from anyone not Ti- uh, ah fuck it. Anyone not Tim.”

“Is your boyfriend’s name Tim?” Tiffany asked enthusiastically, feeling like she’d somehow been let in to the secret crazy world of the Red Hood.

“Oh god no!” Jason groaned. “Only dick he wants up his ass is the super kind. I can’t keep up with that.” He added with a snicker. “Tim is just- Tim. I’ll admit I’ve tried killing him but the urge is mostly gone. Mostly.” Jason concluded.

“Super dick? As in Superman’s dick?” Tiffany asked, leaning in eagerly.

“Oh no, downgrade a generation. I don’t think Superman is even capable of having sex. It would be against at least twenty of his moral codes.”

“Are you serious?” She asked, looking slightly disappointed.

“No, I have absolutely no idea; I just like taking cheap shots at that particular Superdick. The 2.0 version is pretty decent. Not as much of a boy-scout” Jason replied with a shrug and another drag on his cigarette, taking advantage of a nearby empty beer can to use as an ash tray.

“Fair enough, now can we get to your dating life and leave Superdicks out of the equation unless you somehow went there and did that?”

Jason grunted and pouted but relented. “Well, I guess in highschool and middle school I had normal crushes and little lame girlfriends every once in never. I kinda actually preferred to study? It was kind of great after never having a shot at anything in life to suddenly be at one of the best schools in town and realizing _I was good_. I wasn’t just good at stealing and scraping by but I was good at something _good_. I felt smart and like my life would be worthwhile. I wanted to go to college and do God knows what and prove to myself and everyone else that I was more than where I came from. I especially wanted to prove it to him. My boyfriend.” Jason paused, taking a long, slow drag from his cigarette and blowing it up towards the ceiling, trying to avoid looking at Tiffany in case she had that pity look people always gave him on her face.

“I knew I was just a kid back then but well, he’s always been there and he’s always been amazing. He’d always spend time with me and let me crawl into his bed because the little fucker knows I hate thunderstorms and he wouldn’t tell anyone else about it. He’d sit there and read books with me and watch movies and he always had this habit of turning into a human burrito under a fuck ton of blankets and left me freezing my ass off when we crashed on the couch after said movies but I didn’t care because he just looked so damned happy with just his face poking out under all that blanketed mess. He always had, and still has by the way- the stupidest puns and he was trash in the morning without cereal and goddamn the man lives off cereal but it’s kinda cute?” He paused as he earned a small chuckle from the girl now curled into his side, eagerly listening to what he had to say. It was obvious she was imagining the mysterious, hero boyfriend sitting there and getting his cereal fix and she had to agree the mental image was definitely cute.

“Go on Jay. I’m listening.”

Jason took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t even know anymore but then the night before I left for that last mission he kinda came in to my room and I could see guilt all over his face, he was twisting the edge of his shirt in his hands, fighting against what I’m guessing now is his moral code and looked like he’d just been to hell and back. I was worried as fuck but I didn’t even get a chance to ask what was up because he was on me and kissing me and I had no idea how to react. So, like the idiot I was I didn’t react and he panicked. Looked at me like he’d just done the most unforgivable thing but it’s like- I’d never been so happy and shocked in my life. I never got to tell him I felt the same though because he ran out of my room and I’m guessing out of town and I went on that god forsaken mission. I was going to come home and tell him how I felt, I was going to kiss him back but then-  I died.” He concluded weakly.

“You… died?” She asked, just as weakly. “B-but you’re right here?”

“Lazurus Pit.” He replied numbly. “My death was collateral damage in a deal gone wrong and the guy that arranged the whole mess felt like he had to fix this. He has this place called the Lazurus pit and it heals everything. Kind of like a fountain of youth but like anything, it has its price. It makes the user a little more crazy each time they use it. After I came back, I was full of crazy. Crazy and angry. I was completely confused and freaked the fuck out and this guy’s daughter, Talia, she was sort of there for me. By sort of there I mean she took care of me and trained me while looking hot as fuck in the process of doing so. Things sort of- I fucked her.” He deadpanned, too tired to try and pretty his vocabulary up.

Tiffany’s eyes widened a bit, trying to take in the whole story and nodded after a while in understanding. “Apparently, so did uh, Batman. And he knocked her up. His satan spawned son as proof so I’m sure you can imagine that makes for wonderful dinner conversation. Y’know ‘Hey there shorty, how’s shit going? Wanna know a cool story? I fucked your mom. Isn’t that cool? Your dad’s real happy about it, just one more thing me and B have in common. Our taste in crazy women.’ Is always a family favorite around a basket of fresh biscuits.” Jason snipped off, rolling his eyes already imagining how that chat would end. Probably with Damian pulling every sharp object within reach to impale him with as Alfred watched on in distaste, Tim in disgust and Dick in panic between trying to sooth satan, hold back Bruce and get Jason to shut up simultaneously.

“So in a nut shell, you have daddy issues, are hooking up with from what I’ve understood your possibly adopted brother and have all kinds of PTSD but you still have amazing potential and some good looks to wrap it up into one hunky angsty package?”  Tiffany concluded, folding her hands neatly on her lap.

Jason opened his mouth to reply and snapped it back shut. Save the hunky whatever that nonsense was; that didn’t seem too far from the truth? Not that he’d admit to anything but the brother and PTSD thing. “I don’t know I’m not a shrink babe but thanks for reducing me down into a single, simplified sentence. I’ll be sure to put that on my online dating profile. I’ll get all the needy chicks and buff daddy types in town banging down my door.” Jason replied with a shit eating grin as he tossed the cigarette into the can and sit it aside, hoping to have cut that subject down while he still could.

“Oh please do. Make sure you give them my number after they leave frustrated you wouldn’t put out because they aren’t _the_ boyfriend. I’ll make millions.” She teased, yawning.

“Sleep?” Jason offered, shifting a bit so he could lie back.

“And you’re a body pillow? Man it got better.” She joked, lying on top of him with another yawn.

“I’ll add that to my online dating profile too.” He mumbled, turning on the TV, having learned he needed background noise to sleep. This night hadn’t ended the way he’d planned but having told someone not in the family, without judgement and sour looks was oddly freeing and he felt lighter than he had in a while. Only thing he needed to make everything right would be Dick here with him but he took what he could get. Maybe there was still hope. 


	12. Unkiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm so sorry this took so long but I've had next to no time to write due to work and uh, stuff. I have this chapter and the one following it mostly done and thank you guys for all your patience!

 

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Bruce stirred slightly from his sleep, feeling blissfully warm, more so than usual and curled himself further into the warmth, refusing to open his eyes. There was a grounding weight over his waist and he’d never recalled being so utterly content while he slept. He was just about to slip back into sleep when his warmth suddenly _shifted_ and he noticed weight resting on other parts of his body. On top of his head, against one of his legs. Weights where they shouldn’t have been. Bruce’s eyes shot open in panic and came to with the view of a collar bone and a _very_ muscular chest. There was a man in his bed. He squirmed and tried to move away but the other weight around his waist was now firmer, pulling him closer and a nose nuzzled into his hair with a grunt.

 

Clark. That’s right. He’d let Clark sleep in his bed and the hip and bare thigh under his own thigh reminded him it was Clark in his boxers. He took a deep breath to calm himself and look at this from a rational point of view. Clark had come to help. He helped. He’d been held down by Clark to avoid going after Jason and then he’d let the alien sleep over. So far so good. Made sense. Now to the more complicated part- their current position. Apparently at some point during the night Clark’s thigh had found its way between his and one of his thighs arched over Clark’s hips. The man’s chin rested on his head and his strong, muscular arm clutched protectively around Bruce’s waist, keeping them pressed together in a way far too intimate for Bruce’s liking.

“Clark.” Bruce called, as calm and collected as he could muster despite the evident sleep in his voice. Clark shifted slightly but was otherwise unresponsive, earning an annoyed hum from the man stuck in his clutches. “ _Clark._ ” Bruce tried again, squirming slightly in the alien’s arms. “S’early. Sleep.” Clark mumbled a slurred whine in return and it didn’t fall short on Bruce that he had barely been awake long enough to reply before he was just as asleep as he had previously been. Bruce frowned and sighed, deeply regretting not putting up more of a fight when the other man suggested sharing his bed. He could already imagine the look on Alfred’s face when he came in to this mess and the countless days with knowing looks, accusing him of something that never happened.

His biggest mistake however, was assuming it would have been Alfred who would find him in this situation.

Just as he had given up hope of the alien waking up and decided to try and sleep this humiliating situation off, the door creaked open, followed by a pair of blue eyes peeking in. “B, are you awake? I need to-“ Dick cut himself off as he fully stepped into the room and got an eyeful of the current situation. The blankets had been long since kicked off, being unnecessary when having a human furnace glued against your chest and position as compromising as ever, only now accented with a slightly larger awkwardness provided by Bruce’s silk black robe that had fallen open revealing both men to be in nothing but boxers.

“Oh my _GOD_!” Dick almost whimpered, jaw slack and eyes wide. “Oh. My. God. Bruce I am so sorry!” he offered apologetically, turning quick on his heels and closing the door, sprinting towards the nearest empty room to process his thoughts. There Bruce was, mostly naked in bed with _Superman_ , tangled up way more intimately than anyone had any right being and just- _oh my God._ When had that happened? He had noticed Clark had been hanging around more and they’d been getting along well but he just _Oh my God._ Dick groaned and rubbed his face which was starting to feel like it would burn from the inside out. _“Was this how Bruce felt last night?”_ Dick thought to himself, feeling even more guilty than he already did.

Clark finally woke up with the sound of the door clicking and whined, stretching before clinging completely to Bruce like a needy child. “So loud.” He whined, eyes still closed. “Yes Clark, that happens when my son comes into my room and finds me in a horrifically compromising position with a man almost as naked as I am. Now if you would please _get. Off. Of.me._ ” Bruce hissed bitterly.

Clark’s eyes finally shot open and he looked down into the mess of Bruce’s hair in which his nose was pressed into and took a quick glance down to assess the rest of their bodies and groaned in pure embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t know and why are you in your boxers and-“ Bruce swiftly lifted his hand and placed it over Clarks mouth. “Stop talking. Let me go. I have to do damage control and figure out how to deal with this.” Bruce growled. “And go home.”

The Kryptonian nodded blankly and almost regretfully untangled himself from the other man, frowning and looking down pitifully after they were no longer touching. He was embarrassed, of course but it had also felt nice. He liked having someone to sleep with and he had to admit Bruce smelled _really_ good. Bruce sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, somehow instantly making it look as though he’d spent hours working on it – which infuriated Clark who had a constant battle with his Earth defying curls-  and sighed. “Out, Clark.” Bruce repeated. Clark sighed and sat up, sulking as he fixed the one sock that was still on his foot. Bruce kept his eyes closed, expecting to feel the empty in his room within instants but still the weight remained on his bed.

“You’re sulking, aren’t you?” Bruce stated knowingly with a groan.

“No, I’m fine. Really. Just give me a minute to wake up.” Clark replied, sulking harder than ever.

“I can feel you sulking Clark.” And he could feel his own guilt sinking in as well. He was starting to get bad at this. He couldn’t remember the last time he had such difficulty kicking someone out of his bed. It was Clark’s fault he was turning into such a weak, soft person and he had to do something about it. Fast. He had no time for weakness. He was the Goddamned Batman. “Do what you want but after you’re ‘awake’ enough, please do not return. Do not contact me unless it is league business. This has gone too far. Thank you for your help but I’ll take it from here.” Bruce concluded, standing and going towards his bathroom to start on his morning routine, not bothering to spare Clark another glance.

“Wait, do you mean ever again or just today? You’ve got to be joking, right? This wasn’t that bad Bruce, come on.” Clark pleaded weakly, already feeling panic bubble up in his chest as the prospect of losing the friendship they had built over the years over something so trivial.

“Ever again. Now if you’re fully awake, go.” And that was all Clark stuck around for before flying quickly home, heart in his throat, refusing to be swallowed. He was home in next to no time at all and sat on his own bed, dejectedly staring at the floor in disbelief. Bruce was probably just temporarily angry, right? He wouldn’t just throw Clark away like that, would he? The tightness in his throat spread down to his chest and he reached over to his side desk, fishing his phone out of the drawer before hesitantly sending out a text.

  _I’m sorry Bruce, please don’t push me away. I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend. Give me another chance?_

He stared at the phone for a while before giving up and realizing he’d never get a reply back. It started to sink in that Bruce was seriously kicking him out of his life and it hurt. With a pained sigh, he made his way to the window and for the first time since having moved into his apartment, he closed the blinds, shutting the sun out before laying back on his bed, facing away from the window and trying to sleep this off. He didn’t have to be at work until Monday so that gave him two days to deal with this- or ignore it and sleep it all away and never deal with it. Option two was tempting but, that wasn’t how he worked. He knew he’d be at the Fortress of Solitude soon and work out a plan to fix this as soon as he could.

Bruce walked around his room angrily as he brushed his teeth, picking up his phone as he heard it vibrate on his night stand. He took a deep breath to expand the lungs that felt like they’d caved in and held the toothbrush in his mouth as his fingers massaged his temples. He was right. He had become unforgivably weak. The text shot through him and left him feeling like the floor had been pulled out from under his feet. His fingers itched to text Clark back, apologizing. Telling him he’d made a mistake, for him to come back, even if just to have him around while he worked on his computer on a case or built up the next presentation for a company meeting. He fought the urge though and slammed the phone into his sock drawer to keep it from drawing him back and made his way to the bathroom to finish his morning routine, dressing himself before heading off to find Dick.

He had to get himself back together. Had to get himself and his family under control. Back to normal. He needed to be aware of the things going on with his boys and he needed to be able to deal with all this on his own. He’d always been more than capable until Clark fell into his life and he was more than capable now. He didn’t need help.


	13. Stutter

 

\----

Clark found himself awake a few hours later, feeling more tired than he`d ever remembered being and sighed. He couldn’t stand being in bed any longer but he didn’t exactly want to see anyone. He could hide his feelings when he needed to, of course but today he was tired. He didn’t want to put on any airs and be his usually optimistic self. He didn’t want to go out and pretend to be clumsy Clark or brave Superman. The world for the moment seemed perfectly well off without him and all he wanted to do was be himself. To give himself room to well, yes; be upset. He was upset. He’d struggled his whole life to please others. Hide himself because it would upset others. Struggled daily to find a safe medium in which no one would ever find out who he was or what he was capable of because he’d make others uncomfortable but lately, he had started to notice the only one who usually seemed to even be aware he was uncomfortable was Bruce.

The only one he could fully let down pre-tenses around and not have to hide the things he could do and feel natural around was the one man kicking him out of his life. He knew Bruce had his emotional limitations. At times when Bruce came over for their usual beer and pizza night, they’d end up talking until the early hours of the morning, Dick usually taking his place on patrol those nights, and Bruce would let his guard down enough for Clark to get a peek inside of what made Bruce, Bruce. Bruce had talked about his kids mostly but the things he said in one way or another also gave Clark insight into him as well, like the night he’d told Clark about Jason and what Jason’s life had meant to him and even more so what his death had meant. He’d relived the experience with Clark up till the moment in his story where he described finding Jason’s body and shut down completely. It was clear Bruce didn’t handle loss of anything well. Loss of loved ones, loss of control, loss of self. All of these unacceptable.

Clark saw him fighting with himself to keep himself together, fighting against loss of control and loss of self, or in the very least, the self he wanted Clark to see because no matter how comfortable Clark may have been with him, Bruce made it clear the same did not apply to Clark. There were too many parts of himself Bruce wasn’t ready to let Clark see but he didn’t mind.

He could be patient because he just accepted that this was the way his best friend worked. But now he was alone in his apartment, at a loss. None of his powers could fix this and he felt helpless. He was the strongest man in the world, with the exception of speedsters, also the fastest. He was filled to the brim with power after power but all of them were useless when they came to saving himself and the people he loved from life itself. He may have physically been known as the man of steel but if anything, he wished people would realize he wasn’t emotionally the man of steel as well. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t perfect.

Clark looked at his phone again, frowning at the lack of reply on Bruce’s end, despite expecting as much. He rolled the sleek rectangle around in his palm, remembering when he first got his strength and how much accidental damage he’d caused because he couldn’t gauge his grip and now in his hand rested the most fragile little device and it was whole. _If I can control my strength, I can control the rest of me as well_. He thought to himself, closing his fingers gently around the edges. _I’m going to find a way to fix this._

He sighed and thought back to last night, how Bruce had let him stay, trusted him to stay. Listened when he told Bruce to wait and then waking up. He felt his face heating up slightly recalling the awkward, intimate embrace but not finding himself entirely put off by it. Growing up with the Kents meant enjoying physical contact. They were very physical in their affections, always offering a hug whenever possible, a lap to lay his head on to rest after a long day, even now and Clark _missed_ physical affection and this morning with Bruce curled up around him and vice-versa, that was painfully clear.

Clark took a deep breath and sighed. No. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to let Bruce kick him out and he wasn’t letting go without doing everything he could to try and fix it first. The question was, how? He thought it over a while, trying to find a way to get into Bruce’s life without being direct about it and smiled to himself. If there was anyone expert at doing just that, it was Jason. Maybe he could kill two birds with one stone. Help Jason and Dick and help himself as well. It was a little out of character for him to even go for something like this but when it came to his best friend, he seemed to find he couldn’t help it.

After a bit of detective work, and mostly a lot of unwillingness to admit he’d started to keep an ear out for all of Bruce’s kids and their heartbeats so he could memorize them because he knew how much they meant to him and wanted to always be able to help Bruce find them if they went missing (more so when than if, especially Dick. The boy seemed to be a kidnapper magnet), he found Jason and let himself in through the window. There was a second heartbeat in the room in addition to Jason’s and Clark froze.

The sudden gust that blew across his sweat-slicked forehead as he slept didn’t fall short on Jason and he carefully opened his eyes, trying not to alert anyone, case they were there, that he was awake and ready. He knew for a fact he’d closed the window so there was no reason for that kind of a breeze. After no sign of movement, Jason carefully rolled onto his side, depositing Tiffany onto the couch and off of his chest and glanced up, groaning. “Bat douche couldn’t even have the decency to show up himself so he sent Superdick to do his dirty work?”

Clark frowned. “If you could just, not? Y’know? That’d be great and Bruce didn’t send me. He’s… sort of not talking to me right now so, this is all me.”

Jason chuckled, despite himself and shook his head. “You on his black list too? What’d you do? Smile too much? Save too many kittens from trees?” Clark couldn’t help but chuckle himself and shook his head no. “I wish. Would be easier.”  Jason shrugged and let himself off the couch, palping around his jacket for his cigarettes before walking towards Clark. “Wanna take this outside? I have a guest. I’d rather not wake her up to deal with my family drama.” Clark felt his stomach freeze and didn’t budge from where he stood, much to Jason’s dismay.

“Is this what you did? Cuz if so I’m backing B up on this one. Having a giant alien looking like hell froze over standing stiff in the middle of your living room is a real pain in the ass.”

Clark’s expression turned serious and his arms folded over his chest, much like they would when he was Superman. “You have a lover here Jason? Seriously? You and Dick had one fight and you’re already sleeping with someone else?”

If Jason could punch the man and not break his hand, he would. Even knowing he would break his hand, the temptation remained, just for hearing something to insinuate he’d cheat on Dick. “She’s my friend you fucking judgmental piece of alien shit. God, I can’t believe I looked up to you when I was younger.”

Clark felt relief was over him, despite the onslaught of unnecessary insults. “Yeah Jason, because no one would jump to the same conclusion I did when you tell them there’s a girl sleeping and you clearly also just woke up yourself. Either way, you’re partially correct and I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions”

“Point made and apology accepted.” Jason admitted begrudgingly. “Still, can we take this outside?”

Clark nodded and finally followed him out, leaning back against one of the handrails on the fire escape as Jason spoke. “So, what’s got your super panties in a bunch?”

“They’re not panties they’re- why am I even bothering. Jason, look. Last night Bruce was horribly upset after you slammed the door and left so I went to see him. He-“

“Wait, Bruce called you because he was upset?” Jason interjected, cutting him off.

“What? No! Of course not.” Clark replied, disbelief clear on his face as he even tried to imagine that scenario.

“Then you were there already? Or do you always pop in his window at – oh my god, are you getting yourself some Batdick?” Jason accused with a sinister smirk, eyes lighting up.

“Oh my Rao, Jason stop. No just, stop its nothing at all like that!” Clark exclaimed, waiving his hands excitedly in horror. The way Clark’s face, ears and neck started to tinge bright red were a source of entertainment to Jason and his smirk grew wider. “Uh-huh. So wanna tell me how you knew Bruce needed his White Knight to come and save him?” Clark took a deep breath and felt his own face getting hotter. “I’d rather not but it’s- it’s nothing like- that. Goodness Jason.”  Jason pulled a cigarette out, snickering. “So you’re getting the Batass then? Always knew B was a total bottom.” Clark groaned in reply. “You’re really going to make me say this, aren’t you?”

Jason flicked his thumb over the flint wheel on his lighter and shrugged, taking a few puffs of the now lit cigarette before tucking the lighter back into his pocket. “Oh no, far be it from me to make you tell me about the dirty, kinky games you and B get up to. Whatever floats your alien boat man.” Clark felt his insides twist. This wasn’t at all how he imagined this going. “N-no… It’s… I heard it in his heartbeat.” Clark admitted dejectedly. Jason’s hand froze mid-way to lifting the cigarette to his lips and he stared at Clark, trying to read his expression. “You… listen to his heart?” Clark nodded.

Jason stared a little more, trying to let that sink in and instantly felt bad. “Shit… I didn’t know it was like that. You like him. Damn. I uh- Fucking hell. I didn’t mean to make fun of you for that shit.”

Jason knew very well from personal experience how scary being forced to admit feelings for someone could be. He had heard from Dick a lot about how they’d been spending a lot of time together but, honestly never thought to figure out why. It just seemed natural as far as he was concerned but then Clark is listening to his heartbeat. Clark is tuned into radio Bruce twenty-four seven and shows up at god knows what time in the morning to be there for him. It was painfully similar to his own relationship. Dick always showing up whenever he needed him, never missing a single text Jason sent, no matter how late and just- being there to fix it. Fix him. Clark was that to Bruce and wow he had no idea and hadn’t meant to joke about it because hell knows he wouldn’t take anyone shooting jokes about his or Dick’s feelings that way.

“Jason, language!” Clark chastised, sighing painfully, “And again, no. Stop jumping to weird conclusions I don’t-“ Clark found the words dying in his throat. He didn’t like Bruce. Not in the way Jason was thinking. He just needed to know Bruce was alright. Friends. Nothing more than that… right? “Oh man… you two are one messed up trip. You’re sitting there getting hit with a mental freight train called realization, aren’t you?”

Clark felt panic bubble up in his chest. He didn’t like Bruce that way. Jason was wrong, this whole thing was wrong. All he wanted was to be Bruce’s friend. Nothing else. He’d never particularly imagined Bruce sexually, or romantically to be honest just, always wanted to be near him and take care of him. Make him happy and not let him down. But then there was this morning and that felt pretty right to him and maybe he was just oblivious? If nothing, the one thing he knew for sure- he was confused.  “Jason, I didn’t come here to talk about me… Can we just- can you just listen?” Clark pleaded.

Jason nodded, taking another drag of his cigarette which caused the alien’s nose to scrunch before he began to speak, now holding his breath as far as Jason could tell. “Jason, thing is, the reason Dick flew off the hinges yesterday is because Bruce is just…. Not good at explaining and using his words when it comes to you boys. He’s still pretty shocked because well, he sees both of you as his sons and it’s a little hard on him to deal with all that in a single night. He ended up… kind of making it understandable to Dick that you may have been using Dick to get back at him… It’s not what he meant but it’s what came out and well…” Clark cut off, scratching the back of his neck.

Jason growled and nearly burnt himself as his fingers balled up into fists. “And Dick believed that son of a bitch without even trying to talk to me first? Three years and that’s what he thinks? Bruce’s head was so far up his own ass he didn’t even notice we were together till last night. Fuck. I’m going to talk to Dick. I have to- I don’t know. Fuck he better believe me I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t.”

Clark felt his own chest tighten as he saw the despair on Jason’s face. Alright, positive step one- Jason was really serious about Dick. “Jason, listen. Just talk to him, he will listen but just, try not to go in guns blazing?”

Jason thought it over for a minute, taking a final drag before tossing the butt out. “I guess desperate times, desperate measures and all that shit, huh?” Clark nodded and Jason smiled up at him. “And what about you? You said B wasn’t talking to you anymore? Wanna tell me what’s up with that? No judgement.” Jason offered, lifting his palms up in mock surrender. Clark smiled back a little and nodded. “Sure. It’s just, well, Bruce wanted to chase after you last night and he clearly doesn’t use his words well when he’s tired, so I convinced him to wait it out till today and sort of stayed to make sure he didn’t up and leave as soon as I was gone. Well, problem is, I kind of rushed over when I heard his heart flip out and I was in bed, ready to sleep and-“ Clark paused and sighed, rubbing his face.

“I was sort of in my boxers. He ended up letting me stay anyway and let me hide under the blanket so at least he wouldn’t have to see me half naked and we…. Fell asleep. When I woke up, we were tangled up and Dick walked in and saw. Bruce is furious and told me to pretty much get out of his life and never speak to him again. I didn’t mean to upset anyone and I wasn’t even aware we were like that. It was an accident, even if it was really, really nice.” Clark admitted with a new bout of a blush to his face.

Jason couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image and smiled at Clark. “Man that must have been somethin’ to see. Don’t sweat it Supes. The way to Bruce’s heart is by kicking him out of your life too. Worked for me. B won’t get off my damn case. If he can’t control us, then he’s not happy and chases us down. That’s how he works. Just give it time and act like you’re in some horrible teen flick where you’re the chick playing hard to get.”

Clark arched an eyebrow and shook his head. “Not like it can get any worse, right?”


	14. Won't go home without you

\----

It took a while for Bruce to pull himself together before finally working up the nerves to leave his room and find Dick. It was one of Dick’s rare days off and usually he’d spend them out. Since the staggering events of the previous evening, Bruce knew that wouldn’t be the case today. Dick would be home instead of with Jason. The sounds of his feet against the marble seemed to echo in his head as he focused on keeping his calm, making his way up the stairs to Dick’s room. With a deep breath, he let his knuckles rap once against the door and waited.

Dick looked up from the assignment on his computer, a case he’d been working on for a while -nothing too big but he still felt he could make a difference in it- and moved his fingers away from the keyboard. “Come in Bruce”, He sighed, arching his back slightly to stretch his suddenly all too sore muscles. Bruce opened the door, letting himself in before letting it fall shut with a soft ‘click’. “If that’s how you knocked last night, no wonder we didn’t hear you.” Dick knew that was probably the worst joke he could have made given the previous night but he felt the irrefutable need to break the tension suddenly suffocating them both in his room.

Bruce frowned and rubbed his face before allowing himself to sit on Dick’s unmade bed, playing with a frayed string on the edge of the dark blue blanket. “About this morning…” Bruce began, tone even and calm however, his eyes still couldn’t meet Dick’s. “It’s not what you assumed however it was inappropriate and it will not be repeated. Are we clear?” Dick blinked in surprised and his frown rivaled Bruce’s. “No B, we aren’t clear. Not at all. If it wasn’t what I thought, what the hell was that? What was anything that happened in the last twenty four hours?” Dick turned his chair so that he was completely facing Bruce, arms crossed. “ I’m done with you telling me when a topic is or isn’t over. You came in here to talk but sorry to break it to you, you’re going to listen too and for once, you’re going to tell me what I want to hear.”

Bruce’s gaze narrowed and lifted towards Dick and he gave a brief nod in surrender. Dick felt the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding woosh out of his body and he stared dumbstruck at the older man. He’d won? That easily? This must have been worse than he’d imagined. “Last night you finally found out about Jay and then there was that whole awkward mess and well, I guess Jay’s gone and that’s good. I guess I’m glad I knew now instead of later why he even bothered with me but, don’t you think it’s about time we stopped having to hide our dates from each other? I mean, the three years I wasted with Jay could have been avoided if we’d just-“ Bruce cut Dick off with the lift of a hand and a sharp glare. “Dick. Stop. Last night, I said something I regret. It was… taken out of the context I meant it to be in. Jason wasn’t using you. He-“

Bruce stopped to carefully choose his words, not wanting to repeat the same mistake twice. “He didn’t plan that. Any of this. He was with you because he wanted you. What did happen was that he took advantage of the fact that I saw _that_ to rub in my face that I’d been blind to your relationship. You’re the reason he came home. Not for any other reason other than you.”  Dick looked at Bruce carefully, weighing the words in his mind and getting the sinking feeling in his gut once he realized what he’d done. He’d shut Jason out. Didn’t even give him a chance to defend himself, simply abandoned him. He was a jerk. “Oh My god…” he whispered, lifting his hand to cover his mouth, as though he were afraid of what might come out. Bruce cringed and once again turned his gaze away from Dick, realizing he’d once again hurt both of his sons.

Dick frantically scrambled for his phone and retyped each word three to four times as his fingers shook incessantly, finally hitting send and holding his face in his hands. “Is that all?” Bruce barely whispered, feeling his emotional flight instinct kick in. He wanted to be as far from this awkward situation as his legs would carry him. “No.” Dick admitted, lifting the coldest glare Bruce had ever seen in his oldest son’s eyes. “Tell me about Clark and I swear to God B if you lie to me I-“ He stopped, trying to collect his anger. “ I don’t know what I’ll do but I do know I’ll never forgive you.”

Bruce’s heart froze and he shrank back from Dick’s words, hands closing into fists against the blanket. “That won’t be necessary I… I honestly don’t know what to tell you or how to explain any of that. I myself am not entirely sure of how it happened. I can easily explain the facts but not… why.” Dick’s glare remained. “Better damned well try.” Bruce cleared his throat and found his eyes diverting to an empty spot along the wall behind Dick. “I was… upset last night and I’m uncertain as to how but Clark knew but none the less, he was here trying to keep me from going out and further ruining the situation with Jason so he insisted he wasn’t leaving.”

Bruce paused and bit his lip nervously, not sure when he’d picked up that habit but made a mental note to look into it later. “Then I relented and permitted he stay. He’d apparently been in bed, ready to sleep when this all happened so he’d seemingly forgotten his clothes in his haste to reach me so, instead of having to see him in that state of undress as I was trying to sleep, I permitted he share the blanket to cover himself and that’s the last of what I remember before falling asleep. I awoke to… that.” Bruce grimaced. Dick seemed to be thinking over what Bruce told him, chewing on his lower lip- and there. That’s where he got it.- Bruce realized as he waited.

“What happened after I left?” Dick asked, eyes and voice back to normal. Bruce felt his chest grow heavy again, running a nervous hand through his hair. “I asked him to remove himself from the manor. I don’t need his help to deal with this. I don’t need his help for anything that isn’t league business. I don’t need help in general. I’m not a child.” Dick snorted. “You sound like one. Do you realize how stupid that is? Other than us B, he’s the only real friend you have right now. Sure, I’ve heard the rest of the league is starting to warm up to you a bit but, well, we know who we have to thank for that, right?”

“That’s beside the point Dick. It’s over. I don’t need this, I don’t need friends. I work alone.” Dick couldn’t help the bout of laughter that fought its way out of him. “Says the guy with the most sidekicks of anyone ever. Let’s count, there’s me, Jaybird, Timmy, Dami, Alfred, Babs, Steph, Cass…” Bruce growled and stood, heading toward the door. “It’s not the same thing.” Bruce grumbled, feeling petulant. “Yes, so different B. Grow up and call Clark. No one can tolerate you without him. Believe me, we tried.” With a final grunt, Bruce let himself out and Dick flopped back on his own bed, grinning to himself.

He fished his phone out of his pocket again and frowned when he saw Jason hadn’t replied. Was he still mad? He was tempted to go after him but didn’t want to bother Jason if he actually was. Probably was. He was. Dick groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow. “ _I can’t believe Jay came home and I messed this up.”_ Dick thought to himself, sighing.  Normally by this time on his day off, he’d have had sex at least twice and be curled up for a nap with Jason.

He tried texting Jason again, rolling up tightly in his favorite blue blanket and pouted at the screen when still, no reply came. He knew he deserved the cold shoulder he was getting but it still hurt. He regretted not giving Jason a chance to explain. He hated his own habit of being an ass when he felt he was in the right, probably- no, definitely something he got from Bruce. Jason had many skills but acting was usually not one of them. That should have been Dick’s first clue that Jason wasn’t using him. If not that, then maybe, definitely the fact that that wasn’t like Jason at all. Jason would never use someone’s feelings, especially not his.

Dick wormed his hand out of the cocoon his blanket had turned into and tried calling Jason instead, in case he had been far from the phone and didn’t see it. Still no luck. Jason’s hatred status: confirmed.

He gave it another hour and finally rolled out of his cocoon, showered and dressed himself before heading into the kitchen for a cereal bar as he made his way out to his car. If Jason wasn’t going to answer him over the phone, he had to try this in person. He’d messed up and it was his job to fix it.

He soon found himself on his way to the familiar route of Jason’s apartment, hoping it wasn’t too late. That he could convince Jason to forgive him; the guilt would eat him alive otherwise. The drive to the safety boarder was a long one but eventually he found his usual spot and parked, pulling up the hood of his jacket as he crossed over, fingers bunching into his front pockets to keep from shaking as the possibility of not being forgiven became gradually something that could be real. He turned into the street of Jason’s apartment, jumping back slightly as what was possibly the largest rat he’d ever seen skittered past carrying… he’d rather not think about what that was.

Once he was up the fire escape, he let himself in, his heart skipping a beat at a set of hands fallen back over the arm rest. Female hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh that was painful to write. I never know if anything I write is coherent. Feel free to leave tips on how this can be fixed. They're needed and highly welcomed.


End file.
